Legal advise on consent order

[Catsruledogsdroolokay]

My STBXH and I have used mediation to come to a (complicated!) financial arrangement

He is a very high earner. It involves a 50/50 split of assets but then both a monthly and annual maintenance payment (child/maintenance - maybe global?)

It has been stressful and he has been very nasty at times. I know it is a good, fair deal, better than one a solicitor could negotiate or a judge would give. He had an affair and I think the guilt is why he proposed it. He wants to be able to tell his friends and kids that he’s a good guy. But he is constantly threatening to withdraw it if I question anything and has given very limited asset disclosure (3 months rather than 12)
It is hard to know what is just control and what is deceit…..

But all that aside, I am happy with the mediated agreement and happy to proceed to having a consent order being written up
We have agreed to use the mediation company’s solicitors service to get it drawn up

The thing is, when I said I wanted to get independent legal advice once the consent order had been drawn up he absolutely flipped.
He is insisting that I do not need it. And if I get it then it will all go in the bin and we will do everything through solicitors, or worse, a judge.

I do NOT want to rehash the order
I am happy with it
I’m just concerned that something gets lots in translation and how will I know that it’s what I think it is unless someone walks me through it?

If I get advice do I have to tell him?
Plus don’t we both have to prove to a judge that we’ve done that anyway?

What have other people done in similar situations?

Yes - was made redundant, took time out and then got lower paid job ( still high salary but not 300k.

tbf he suffered stress and illness etc so it made sense to do so but demonstrates the possible risk of being at the mercy of his earnings.

I’m so relieved you’re getting that pension report!
In my own case, I’m getting 40%. But I’m getting a larger share of the property, which I want and need.
I specifically hired a lawyer who’s great at finance, specifically pensions. I self represented until the pension report came back. I knew I needed a money head on board to help me understand the complexities of dividing assets especially when pensions are a huge part of the assets (in my case, it’s the biggest asset). So if you need your own solicitor to help you get through the financial agreement, I’ll PM you mine. He’s excellent and reasonable and sharp.
Also, you can’t realistically agree on anything with your ex until that report is back and all assets are on the table. I’d go quiet and take a rest from the proceedings until the report is back.

Excellent advice - thanks
My emotions are trying to take control - I want this over and done with and to know what my new future looks like - but you’re right - you shouldn’t rush these things
Will pause, get the pension report done and then take it from there

If nothing else, tell him court may be much more likely to reject or question consent form if they can’t see both parties have had legal advice- no matter how limited

we had reverse. My exh didn’t want a solicitor with consent order as he didn’t want to waste m9ney on solicitor . I told him nope. Our consent order was not a full 50:50 and I wanted no doubts with court that he knew what he was signing. even though he did. I told him it could delay our divorce or cost us more. He agreed in end.

i think it’s a question about why not? He may be hiding stuff or it may be he feels a solcitor on your side could encourage you to go for more. The second one is more easily fixed by telling him the above and reassuring him you’re going to solicitor just for that not to get the, to “handle” your divorce. The first one, if you suspect, is a “not your business to tell me” conversation

Sorry more

heres what mediate say .. form their page..google and send to him

WILL THE COURT ALWAYS AGREE OUR CONSENT ORDER?
No. The court will not just rubber stamp your order as they may disagree with it. They are making it into a legal order, so they need to understand the arrangements and agree that it is fair. Ideally they will want to see that you have taken legal advice on the order.
The court are unlikely to tell you what to do if they do not agree with your order. They are more likely to ask questions on it or ask you to discuss a particular area of the order again.