Housing and where to live

[BubblegumBubblegum]

Seeking some advice on what to do about housing once I am separated from DH.

We currently have a council house in both of our names. I am looking at moving out and starting afresh yet would I be a fool to let go of my council house?

Option one -
Move out and rent privately nearby. I have seen a lovely little house in a nearby village but I will be honest - privately renting is out of my budget especially when I’ll have other costs related to the divorce. I have been looking at loans for people with bad credit but that is going down a dodgy path.

Option two -
I am leaving due to DV/EA. Women’s aid have suggested that I contact my housing association and declare myself homeless due to DV. The risk is that I have no idea where I would end up and my oldest is in comp close to our house. He has a great social life in the area and I don’t drive.
I have looked into school transport or him using public transport.

Option 3 - stay in the house and DH moves out. I feel like I would have more control if I moved out. I know he wouldn’t give the house up without a fight and would use it as a weapon saying I threw him out/took his home away etc. I do like the idea of starting afresh somewhere new but this also comes with added costs such as furnishing the house/flooring/white goods.

What happens to all furniture and white goods during a divorce if one partner stays in the house?

Has anyone got any advice please? 🙏

I’m not sure what I would do in your situation OP but if private rent is not affordable for you then immediately take that out of the equation as not possible, it’s not a viable option.

I think if it was me I’d quite like the thought of a fresh start elsewhere, somewhere that is JUST mine and never been shared, it would feel like a proper fresh start and draws a clear line in the sand of “this is my place not OUR place”, but do appreciate the risk of you being given a property further away.

Staying in the shared house poses the issue that 1) lots of shared memories there and 2) it will always probably feel to him like HIS/OUR house and so you’d have to be firm in setting boundaries and upholding those boundaries so he isn’t still acting as though it is his place as well as yours. There’s also the factor of actually getting him to move out, if you’re both on the tenancy and he doesn’t want to leave then that could prove tricky and may just be more hassle than it is worth.

It’s a tough one!

With regards to furniture and white good etc, it’s not about who stays in the house, they are a matrimonial asset and can be divided in the divorce between you both regardless of who stays and who goes x

Thank you for your advice. Yes I agree, I really can’t afford to privately rent a 3 bedroom house alone. The local rent is around £1000 per month at least.

I love the idea of starting afresh somewhere. I was advised by women’s aid that the ex can see the house as theirs and turn up, harass and act like they still live there.

With regards to all the contents of the house, if I was to purchase everything myself for the new house and leave all contents in the old house would DH have to provide me with money for half of everything? This is so new to me.

Yeah I do agree with Women’s Aid on that. It’s a tricky one because you shouldn’t have to leave your home if you don’t want to, but it is his home too and it’s really difficult to draw that boundary line of it no longer being “ours” and becoming “yours”.

No he doesn’t have to give you half of the money to buy everything new for a new property after divorce. As part of the divorce assets are divided equally/fairly as to means, so any savings, pension, assets etc are split between you. Depending on circumstances you may be awarded a higher % of the pot, the courts intention is to make it fair, but he wouldn’t have to give you any money towards new things for your new place no.