Separation with young children

[Unicornmummy12]

Not sure what I'm hoping for with this but here we go...

My husband and I are separating. His choice as he doesn't love me anymore. We have two children together 4yo and 7mo. We are selling our house and I will buy somewhere for me and the kids. He wants to buy me out of child maintenance so he can get a bigger mortgage and so I can buy somewhere more suitable for the kids. My query is we can work out how much he owes for the next 14-18 years but obviously his circumstances could change. If he got a payrise he would owe me more. So he agreed to pay me upfront his current rate 80p/w and split big kid costs like school trips and uniform. It seems a fair way to me but I'm not 100% sure. Any thoughts?

One other thing, how do I tell my 4yo were not together anymore and selling the house? Do I say we both still love you two but...

We don't love each other anymore?
We're not friends anymore?
We don't want to live together anymore?

Thanks 😊

He can’t buy you out of CMS. It’s not meant to be capitalised and if you came to an arrangement you could just claim it anyway after a year. If he has that much capital, and you have gotten your share of it, then he can use it pay off his mortgage or put it into an account and use it to pay you.

just tell him you want regular child support based on his income. How he pays it is up to him.

He can’t buy out child maintenance

even if you agreed now and took 100% of all assets now you could still claim via cms in 12 months and he’d be assessed on his income and child arrangements at that time irrespective of what he’s given in the divirce

any lawyer will tell him that

You need to look at all your joint assets and divide them taking into consideration both your housing needs, ability to get mortgages, earnings and earning capacity etc but he’ll still be due to pay cms ( unless you both agree to share 50:50 child arrangements)

In terms of telling your 4yo just say mummy and daddy love you very much but we’ll be living in separate houses but you’ll still see both of us regularly or something along those lines

you dont need to tell him you aren’t friends if don’t love each other

I don't have any constructive advice but just wanted to send you love. This must be really hard for you but just want you to know you will find happiness again. Things will feel really bad right now but will get better over time 🤍 there's something really unique about the family dynamic when it's just you and your kids. Best of luck with everything xxx

Thanks all, he will be using his share of the house to give me a lump sum otherwise I can't afford somewhere for me and the kids to live.

Appreciate the advice for telling my 4yo

You both need proper independent legal advice

his proposal is not workable