Financial guidance please

[Sofie19]

Hi

Any idea on how badly this is likely to go for me?
My salary is 30k part time so bring home around 1800k a monhlth. My husband's is 100k + commission and bonus and he brings home 6-7k usually at last. He left unexpectedly but wants 50/50 custody with our son. I will try to fight it and I believe there are some reasons he is better off spending more time with me but I'm not hopeful. The mortgage is over 2k a month. There's about 260k on it. He has no savings. I have just received about 200k of inheritance which I am told is non matrimonial but is likely to impact what I will get (lovely that my husband announced separation just after I got it). I desperately don't want to lose my son. I have sacrificed my career for so many rounds of IVF for him and fails rounds since. Meanwhile my husband has just progressed and progressed and progressed in his career. He's not a bad dad but he's more like few hours here and there. Will I be financially ruined? £200k will not get a property in my area. Will I have to find a ft job? I would just like an idea as what to expect.

How old is your son? Any pensions that will need to be considered? How long married and any cohabitation before then? What's the likely cost of housing for you and your son?
Is 50/50 realistic in terms of your Ex's work?

I not sure anyone can say exactly what will happen because there are so many variables however depending on your DC's age courts do look to ask both parents to maximise earnings but will usually give a period of time to get there

It is usually scary to think how finances will work out but generally everyone manages in the end and I speak from experience. Your inheritance will help for a softer landing.

Is your ex being cooperative or hostile?

@Livinghappy yes there are pensions and my husband's will be worth more. Our little one has just turned 4. We have been married 7 years but cohabited for approx 12/13 years. We probably need a 500k ISH property. Maybe a bit less.

Yes you will be expected to get a ft job
tiurvinh Is likely to firm part of the pot or impact resting share you get

tiu should seek legal advice

why do you disagree z50;60 child arrangements?

Who has said your inheritance is a non matrimonial asset?? I would have argued it is ...it also goes to demonstrate you are able to secure a home for the two of you as you have a large deposit

At age 4 you'll be expected to work full time

No one can say for certain how things will go - but the courts very much favour 50/50 split in terms of custody and it can be difficult to/ courts don't really care too much for what you might say to try to counter it

Sorry for terrible spelling!

meant to say your inheritance is likely to form part of the pot for division, or if ringfenced means your needs to the other assets is less

you’ll be expected to work full time or manage On pt plus uc - it’s unlikely you’ll get spousal for any other than in interim period if at all

if he can demonstrate he can do 50:50 care he’ll very likely get it

The issue for you is that you won’t be married and you won’t benefit from his large salary to support your current lifestyle and working part time. I’m not trying to piss in your cornflakes by telling you this. It is a financial reality of divorce. You are going to have to accept change and compromise. It is not in your child’s interests to be on the sideline of a pointless and bitter battle between their parents dragging on for years.

At the end of the day where you live and how much you work will be your choice. However for the purposes of a divorce, your income will be maximised and your needs proportionate for 2 people.

A divorce should not mean the loss of a child for either parent. The focus will be on the child’s needs and that will be primarily linked to their need to have strong stable relationships with both parents. Then with local family and friends. Given the child is 4, there is a good opportunity to find a school in an affordable area without too much disruption.

If the inheritance is recent and hasn’t been used in pursuit of the marriage it probably won’t be seen as a joint asset. However you will have £200k to help with your housing needs. Working full time is an option with a school aged child and an ex willing to do 50% parenting. Although UC would probably bolster your income anyway. With some equity and a mortgage you are going to be able to find a suitable property almost everywhere in the country. There are only 2 of you so a suitable property is a 2 bed.

I think you can easily come of this with a modest home, lifestyle and working part time. Or a nicer home and lifestyle but working full time.