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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex spending all his money during divorce

20 replies

Jellybaby12345 · 20/07/2024 08:54

Ex is spending all his money on gambling and drugs etc. if it goes to court would they take this into consideration? He says he will claim he’s done this cos he’s depressed - would the court just accept this and split finances based on what he has now? Has anyone been through a similar experience?

OP posts:
MoveToParis · 20/07/2024 08:57

Well mine certainly did. He spent tens of thousands and the view was “Oh what a shame.”

The official-ish advice from solicitors is “Money spent won’t be divided”

Hardlyworking · 20/07/2024 09:00

Absolutely nothing you can do about it, except like for like. So if he's withdrawing 500 a week for gambling, you also withdraw 500 a week for personal use (best friends sock drawer).

StormingNorman · 20/07/2024 09:03

It is his/your money to spend as and when you please. The courts can’t to do anything about it. Although may be worth asking your solicitor if you can apply to have the account frozen.

If your name is on the account, take a huge chunk out and put it an account in your sole name so there is something to split when you get to the financial settlement. Then email him and your solicitor what you have done and say why so it doesn’t look like you are doing anything devious.

He’s an absolute prize. Congratulations on getting shot of him.

Original poster
Jellybaby12345 · 20/07/2024 10:41

MoveToParis · 20/07/2024 08:57

Well mine certainly did. He spent tens of thousands and the view was “Oh what a shame.”

The official-ish advice from solicitors is “Money spent won’t be divided”

Oh no really? That is so unfair. I have had to pay for everything for the children and he just gets to spend his money as a way of getting more in the divorce.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybaby12345 · 20/07/2024 10:45

StormingNorman · 20/07/2024 09:03

It is his/your money to spend as and when you please. The courts can’t to do anything about it. Although may be worth asking your solicitor if you can apply to have the account frozen.

If your name is on the account, take a huge chunk out and put it an account in your sole name so there is something to split when you get to the financial settlement. Then email him and your solicitor what you have done and say why so it doesn’t look like you are doing anything devious.

He’s an absolute prize. Congratulations on getting shot of him.

He really is. I am trying to get rid of him but he’s making it so difficult.
Thank you for your advice.

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 20/07/2024 11:31

Jellybaby12345 · 20/07/2024 10:41

Oh no really? That is so unfair. I have had to pay for everything for the children and he just gets to spend his money as a way of getting more in the divorce.

Show quote history

He’s not getting anything MORE out of the divorce, he’s making sure you don’t get anything. He’s spunking the lot on drugs and gambling. There’ll be nothing left for either of you. Piece of shit.

delboy1984 · 20/07/2024 11:57

I'm so sorry, I have no advice OP.
He really is a piece of work 😡

I find it crazy that parties can go out and spend extreme amounts of money after separation but before divorce and have no comeuppance. How is that fair? Am I correct in thinking that they can literally go and book a holiday two weeks before the hearing, enjoy it and let you pay half of it?

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/07/2024 12:05

You won’t get a split of money spent, no. And he can spend his money as he sees fit at the moment if it’s before any settlement. I’m sorry op, maybe just be glad you are shot of someone so unpleasant as to behave like this.

WishIMite · 20/07/2024 12:08

This is very common behaviour. PLEASE remove what you can and stash it/cash it for the children or buy holidays for next year or WHATEVER you can. I really regret not freezing joint savings accounts.

millymollymoomoo · 20/07/2024 12:21

Is he spending money out of joint accounts /savings or is he simply spending his income and not saving any?

C1N1C · 20/07/2024 12:25

Take yours out, put it in gold, hide it. Say you gambled it.

Prawncow · 20/07/2024 12:33

I managed to protect the savings but my ex spent every penny he could access during our divorce. To be fair he was always awful with money which is one of the reasons only I had access to the savings account!

I had to hand over my bank records covering a fixed term (at least a year?) during our financial settlement - we went to court. If he has to do that, there are going to be large cash withdrawals and lots of payments to betting sites. If you needed to bring up his drug use and gambling problems then you’ll have the evidence to back it up.

Prawncow · 20/07/2024 12:35

Is he paying anything towards you or the children now? Would it be worthwhile going for interim maintenance payments?

Heresee · 21/07/2024 07:43

I am so sorry this sounds horrific and I feel you as I could have written this myself. I am facing exactly the same, while having been liquidating my belongings to pay bills as they are overdue, while he continues to spend on himself while blaming me for the outgoings. I have been a prisoner at home with no socialising for years and now I am seeing just a glimpse from the few statements provided but expect far more as they are not complete. In doing so he has blamed me for spending matrimonial funds when I have been grappling to avoid mounting debt, which he continues to accumulate.

Gingerbread981 · 21/07/2024 08:20

My ex husband re mortgaged his other house and frittered some of the money. Spent 50k, some of it went on a new car. This was all to try and stop me getting half of everything, therefore making the pot smaller.
i had already started the divorce proceedings, i had a good solicitor. They go through all of the assets and bank statements of both sides for the previous year. They based it on the total amount BEFORE his spending spree.
so all it did was make him worse off, it was split down the middle but he’d already spent 50k of his half.
so it depends if divorce proceedings have started, or if you can prove when you split up.

RedHelenB · 21/07/2024 08:30

Jellybaby12345 · 20/07/2024 08:54

Ex is spending all his money on gambling and drugs etc. if it goes to court would they take this into consideration? He says he will claim he’s done this cos he’s depressed - would the court just accept this and split finances based on what he has now? Has anyone been through a similar experience?

Court can only split the assets that are actually there.

delboy1984 · 21/07/2024 09:40

Benjilassi · 21/07/2024 08:58

This is good!

Surely courts assess what has been spent and "bad behaviour" is thankfully frowned upon.

Original poster
Jellybaby12345 · 22/07/2024 19:16

millymollymoomoo · 20/07/2024 12:21

Is he spending money out of joint accounts /savings or is he simply spending his income and not saving any?

He’s spending his own income

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybaby12345 · 22/07/2024 19:25

Heresee · 21/07/2024 07:43

I am so sorry this sounds horrific and I feel you as I could have written this myself. I am facing exactly the same, while having been liquidating my belongings to pay bills as they are overdue, while he continues to spend on himself while blaming me for the outgoings. I have been a prisoner at home with no socialising for years and now I am seeing just a glimpse from the few statements provided but expect far more as they are not complete. In doing so he has blamed me for spending matrimonial funds when I have been grappling to avoid mounting debt, which he continues to accumulate.

I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through! That sounds awful! How can he blame you for spending? Would it not show that he spent it?

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