Divorcing aged 80

[ladyer]

Hi, I could do with some advice please.

My 80 year old father is in poor health. He is recovering from a major operation and needs peace and calm in his life.

His wife (married years after I grew up) is 60 and is a serious alcoholic. She is abusive to him and treats him horribly. She has struggled with alcoholism for years but he has finally decided he has had enough. When she should be caring for my dad, she is just drinking and being horrid.

DF has control of all bank accounts as she is too drunk to have any idea of finances. If they were to divorce, is there any way he could remain in their home until he passes?

If they sold another property they jointly own, his wife could potentially afford a small place for herself.

Can the wife have the other property and he keep his? Despite the alcoholism she might still live for a while to come. They’ll have to divide assets like any other divorcing couple. Otherwise, if that’s not enough for her as a fair share, he could seek a Martin order which provides he stays in his home until death and she gets her share, whatever it might be, then on a sale or buy out.

From what you have said, it sounds like they are better off living apart than together? You may want to explore how you could support him in that. If there is a 2nd property could your dad not move there?

Who has control of bank accounts is likely to be of little consequence in the long run. Assets are usually joint if medium to long term marriage. Assets would need to be split under a financial order but divorce can take a considerable period of time. Your dad really needs to speak to a solicitor in the first instance and you probably need to think about how you can support your dad to not live with his wife somehow whilst the whole thing unfolds….Divorce can take years if it ends up down the court route. It is possible for it to be done in a year if both parties are cooperative. It all depends on whether people play ball…your fathers situation sounds potentially complicated unfortunately.