Courts prefer 50/50 custody but did anyone end up with more than 50?

[Forest5]

We have 50/50. I hate it. He brought his barrister and solicitor to court etc etc. family court decided 50/50.
It’s now a year later.

But did anyone successfully negotiate more than 50 later on in court? On what grounds did the judge give you more than 50?
I feel that he will do anything he can to punish me and not give me more than 50, even though he knows that’s what my heart desires. I feel like he’s not thinking about what is best for the children, what he wants or is able to do. Just do whatever he can to continue to hurt me.

Realistically if courts decided 50/50 the first time and nothing has changed (other than you wanting more than 50) the courts aren’t going to change their mind the second time unless there was genuine abuse/neglect concerns, or once the kids are old enough that they can say they want to be with you more

Do you do all of the appointments and homework etc and he does none, do you have proof if so? Then maybe you could prove that the kids don't have quality time with you, so could he either agree to do this stuff on his time or give you another evening to have some quality time with them??

Do the kids like it? What do they say?

i suppose technically they are 50% his! so unless there is a rock solid reason why he shouldn't have them 50/50... why shouldn't he?

i wish my ex had our kids 50/50.. i was lucky to get 1 weekend in 4! but this was not court appointed. his job.. blah blah blah.

it isn't really about what just YOU want, its about whats best for the children and what they want? don't worry, if they are anything like mine, they stopped going to their dads by about 14/15 of their own accord as it got in the way of their social lives.

he knows that’s what my heart desires. I feel like he’s not thinking about what is best for the children

And what are the children saying and doing?

We have 50/50…..

I hate it.

I want more - that’s what MY heart desires.

Your post is all about you & what you want.

What do the children want and what’s best for them?

IMO children should have an equal relationship with parents.

Why do you want more? If it's just because YOU want it, then no, I don't see how (or why) any court would agree with it.

The only reason they might agree would be if he is not caring for them effectively or if they themselves were old enough and didn't want it. You'd ahve to prove that pretty clearly though.

How old are your DC? As they get older they can start to choose where they'd like to spend time. This happens from around 12yo.

Would it be OK for him to take you back to court to reduce your time with them? If not then why is it OK for you to do this?

I don’t think pushing the children to say what they “want” is good for them. Unless they are old enough to articulate this without prompting and they are stable and secure just leave it.

If they have been through a split and custody battle that went to court enough is enough unless there is a tangible problem.

I don’t think pushing the children to say what they “want” is good for them. Unless they are old enough to articulate this without prompting and they are stable and secure just leave it.

As a child of divorced parents I agree. It puts the onus on the kids to choose between their parents, knowing that they will probably upset at least one of them. It's a horrible position to put small children in.

I feel that he will do anything he can to punish me and not give me more than 50, even though he knows that’s what my heart desires.

If he is doing it to punish you then stop giving him the satisfaction of seeing it affecting you. Plough your energy into your work, seeing some friends, do some additional learning, take up a new hobby, maybe even meeting someone else.

Firstly it will be good for you to get out and relax more. Secondly when he realises that actually you are benefiting from the arrangement he might be less keen on it. Thirdly I think it benefits children to see their parents as people beyond their role as a parent. You don't need to be too OTT but something like 'I hope you have a lovely weekend with Daddy, I am going to an art class and I am looking forward to showing you my painting when you get back.'

you are equal parents to your children why do you think you deserve more than 50%?

your children are not your possessions. They are living human beings and they deserve to have equal time with both of their parents.

Stop being selfish and thinking about what YOU want and put your children first. They are settled into the 50/50 routine since your split, the last thing they need is for you to drag their father back to court.