I have recently separated from my partner of 14 years, (my decision), after feeling like I finally couldn’t take anymore.
I had noticed that since the birth of our son, things had started to breakdown so gradually that I could barely tell what was going on. This caused huge amounts of confusion and sadness.
There was so much criticism from my partner that I became absolutely numb to it, preferring just to stay out of the way and not stand up for myself which I now hugely regret.
Over this period I lost both my father and my grandmother and the isolation I felt became crippling, which had a huge impact on my mental health and my interactions with everyone including friends and family. I basically just wanted to be on my own when I could which I realise must have put a huge strain my relationship and will forever feel bad about.
I noticed things were starting to get possibly quite dangerous after we recently bought my grandparents old house.
Before the move I had expressed my concerns about the relationship but we both agreed we’d move and try to make things work.
This all started to unravel after my partner got the solicitor to change the deeds in her favour so she owned more than half the house. She did have equity but the manner in which it was done shocked me. Se never even told my mother who sold us the house for way under asking price.
10 days into the new house and she asked me to go into the loft and move some bits and bobs as we had builders in the next day. Before I’d had the chance to even go up she was throwing things away with no regard, this included a small ceramic painting my grandad done over 30 years ago. It was broken but upon me asking her to stop just so I could see what was being binned I was told I was ‘emotionally abusing her, gaslighting and that I was stuck in the past’. Finally she said ‘none of this will bring your grandma back’.
I was stunned.
I think that was when I likely decided to call the relationship over even though I didn’t actually go this until a few days later.
This has resulted in her claiming I was having a mental breakdown and taking my son away with one of her friends and saying I’ve been screaming and shouting at her which is completely made up.
Since then I have been really trying to sort out the house and make sure my son is but I’m noticing he has started getting very upset when not with his mum. Can anyone help me in this difficult time? I’m so utterly confused as to what’s even happened and just want my son to be ok