If divorce/separation is amicable, is it the right thing to do?

[newname1510]

In the very slow throes of separating from long term husband. Still living together until the house is sold which will facilitate us moving on. We still love each other, but it's been like living with a friend for many years and I've decided I want more.

Other than functional co-habiting/co-parenting, there's been no relationship for a very long time... I've bobbed along for years, but finally took the plunge a while ago and confessed to how I felt. I've given warnings over the past 18 months that I didn't want to be in a loveless relationship, but it fell on deaf ears. I guess I'm different to the person I was two decades ago now and as I face getting older, I've questioned how I want to live the next chapter in my life. We have two DC (secondary school age). Neither seem particularly upset by it, think they know we're not that happy and as a family have just become stuck in a rut.

I guess what I'm asking is for any words of wisdom from people who have been in the same situation. Was divorce the right thing or did you end up regretting it further down the line?

I think it best to call it a day while you can still be friends. At the moment there’s no one else, you’re not fighting etc. if you can separate now, remain friendly and relatively amicable you’ll all come out of it ok in the end.

thats not to say it doesn’t hurt or you won’t feel loss or what ifs or a hint of regret. Not necessarily a sense of regret in leaving but a pang of regret that life isn’t how you planned or thought it would be, or a sense of sadness that your family is now different.

staying, when not fulfilled will likely lead to resentment or one of you being tempted by someone else in the end - and you’ll separate on bad terms.

Call it a day before the resentment and angry really kick in. Co parenting amicably is best for your kids, especially given their ages as they can then go between both parents homes and it'll be best for them seeing as they understand far more.
You deserve more. Your kids deserve to see you happy in whatever form that may be.