Mesher Order?

[Parmaviolet1719]

Hi everyone. I’m going through a divorce which has unfortunately turned really nasty. I am still in the family home and we have 50/50 shared care of our two daughters (7 and 4). Youngest has a genetic syndrome which causes her health and learning difficulties that will continue/likely get worse as she gets older. It’s not clear if she’ll ever be able to live independently. I have incurable cancer (please note incurable, not terminal) and am living on benefits. He is renting, in a new relationship and a decent earner. My solicitor thinks I’ve got a good chance of getting a mesher order to stay family home until the kids are 18. But is this realistic? I know courts are reluctant to make mesher orders these days. I’m worried about how I’ll survive without it. Thank you

given the circumstances, a child with health needs and if you cannot work it’s a possibility. You need to think whether it is a good option and what type of order you want. A basic mesher order means you take over the mortgage but defer buying out his share. It is a bigger ask if you need him to stay on the mortgage. What will you do when the children are 18 and you need to give him a share of the total equity.

Mesher orders come with big downsides for both parties. If you can avoid them, avoid them. If you can’t then remember there is a sting in the tale.

I would need him to stay on the mortgage as there’s no way I’d be able to get the mortgage under just my name. I can afford to pay it every month though. Is that very unlikely? I just want to be realistic. I don’t want to be tied to him really, but unless he gives me 100% of the equity (which he wouldn’t, he’s going for absolute bare minimum of everything) there’s no way I’ll be able to afford a place by myself. And even if I get a job, given my health I won’t be able to work enough hours to rent somewhere big enough for the 3 of us.

It will come down to earnings. By staying on the mortgage that limits his own ability to get a mortgage

14 years is a long time to be tied in.

However, in a needs case as you describe the courts priority will be your daughter and ensuring adequate housing provision.

the question you need to think though is what happens at 18? Houses will have appreciated so you’ll owe him a % of its value at that time. You’ll be older ( hopefully still well) and your daughter may still not be able to be independent. What will happen then as you’ll owe him
the money .

how much equity is there? Are there any other assets? Pensions? Can you afford it if you got 80% equity ?

per lemonTT you should consider a mesher an absolute last resort imo because it’s just pushes the ( bigger) can down the road

I think in your case, you'd only be kicking the can down the road as your circumstances are unlikely to have changed. You would be paying the mortgage for the next 10 years and then have to sell and give him half the equity and be in exactly the same boat.
I think I'd sell and go for a clean break from him . Talk to your local council about what your options maybe .

It might not be half. His share may be 10/30/30 %

tje likely bigger issue is not being able to remove him from the mortgage for 14+ years

There’s no downside to looking at alternatives which may or may not give you a more secure future. Depending on where you live there could be more practical options. If you rented you would get benefits. Is there anyone else who could guarantee the mortgage.

If you have to fight him for a mesher order, you will need to show alternatives aren’t viable because his case would centre on showing they are.

While obviously downsides you could look at shared ownership. I’ve disabled child and could take over mortgage but it is frustrating to then give ex a share of the increased equity since we split. Even though it was right decision for children to stay in home it wasn’t the best financial outcome for me. I would have been better off paying down my own mortgage and keeping the equity. It’s also unlikely you will be able to buy what you want later on especially if you have no mortgage capacity.

The issue is, if the house is sold and I get my half of the equity, I wouldn’t qualify for benefits any more. So I’d have to use that money to rent, it would quickly disappear and then I’d be left with nothing. I don’t have any pension to speak of either.

That’s not a reason a mesher would be granted.

if you got 80% of equity would that enable you to take him off the mortgage?

a mesher is only likely to be granted if there is no alternative. Not wanting to spend equity on rent is not a valid argument.

your challenge will be to remove him from the mortgage - how will that be possible?

dies he earn alot ? Is his mortgage raising ability ok irrespective of staying on this one ?

this will be the critical thing - more so imo than his share being deferred

You could buy shared ownership property using the equity and then get benefits for the rent portion. If I were your ex that’s what I would be suggesting so I was free to move on and buy a new property myself. You may get more than 50% based on his greater earning and mortgage capacity.

You can put your lump sum in a pension. That wouldn't affect benefits. Plus you'd have a pension.

Or as a Pp said, shared ownership. In my town, nearly all the shared ownership properties are owned by people protecting their lump sum.

Long term a shared ownership with share paid by equity or social housing (tricky depending on area)
Look long term with her and your disability benefits

No, there’s no way I could take on the mortgage in my name on the current property even with 100% of the equity. I don’t have a job so no-one is going to lend to me.

He earns 60k, I don’t know if the courts consider that a lot or not? He could easily raise a small deposit and manage a mortgage on that, but I know he’s trying to manufacture fake “debt” at the moment by pretending he owes his parents money

If you get a mesher order it won’t be with 100% equity. He will get a share at some point in the future. What is the plan for that? You will still need somewhere to live and benefits will be impacted. It is worth considering if you should move now and deal with the situation now.

60k is not huge unless you live in very low cost area
What is equity in property and Value? How much is rent locally? How much is shared ownership locally?

If it’s 50/50 care doesn’t he need to also have somewhere to live with the children? I would imagine it would be hard to run two houses on £60k

Could he potentially have the mesher order meaning that you could claim the benefits and hopefully get housed by the counsel? I have no idea on the legality’s of this though!

Yeah, I completely get what you’re saying. It’s just that with the position I’m in right now, I genuinely don’t know what I’d do. The mesher order would take the time pressure off and give myself some time to try to get set up and in a better position. I don’t particularly want to be tied to him, it’s just needs must. My hope would be not staying in the house until the end of the order, just hopefully taking a few years to sort myself out and then sell.

He wouldn’t be running two households though, I would pay the mortgage, bills, maintenance etc of the house. Literally all that would be required of him is his name on the mortgage. I’m already paying most of that already anyway, he is just paying 50% of the mortgage and has plenty of money to pay his own rent and fund his lifestyle etc.

It’s not a massively expensive area. House value is about 240k, equity about 126k. He rents a 3 bed for about 1100/month I think.. I don’t know anything at all about shared ownership to be honest, it’s not something I’ve looked into before.

Hello,
i am Sylvie and i am going through lots of medical and dental issues and depression.y ex has delayed his company report for 2 years now is rushing a FDR in order to sell the family house. The children want to stay in their home. I am on UC in for to work. I want to stay in the house with the children and see if I can buy him out or have a garantor taking her Morgage with me ? I filled non occupation order and managed at least some areas specific in the house .. now I will have fistula operation and can’t do the stairs and he refused to move to loft room…
I am so depressed and the amount of depts and lawyers have charged me 18K for form E ( money borrowed and 4 k from Isas) I am not able to take decisions or function due to my state .. I am lost ..
how can k stay home with r he children and take care of my heath issues and their depression over 2 y forced cohabitation… we need a break .. what can we do?

If we have a Mesher order can we agree

You need to start your own thread and don't put names in