Parental alienation and child arrangement order

[wildlingtribe]

Anyone experiences parental alienation?

If so, did child arrangements order help or make matters worse??

Bump 😢

How old is the child ?
Once the child is about 12 ish, a judge would allow them to choose how much contact they had with each parent even zero contact.

Asking for a Child Arrangements Order will really only deal with the logistics of how and when a child spends time with the other parent.

If the child is refusing to see that parent because the resident parent is alienating that child (which I would refer to as emotional abuse in the absence of any evidence that the other parent is a danger to the child), then any Order will be hard to enforce because the resident parent will simply say the child doesn't wish to see the absent parent.

As the previous poster says, dependent on the age of the child, the Court may decide not to intervene if the child is deemed to be able to make their own decision.

I have my own very painful experience of this issue and haven't now seen my children in four years despite having a CAO so I'm afraid it's not a magic bullet.

13.5yo.

It's crushing me. Has done since she flipped 180 last July.

His mother is the main issue and alienator. They both are. But last summer she took over my daughter. (My daughter had spent years hating her for what she was like and what did contributed to the separation)

But that's when the love(gift buying) bombing started. Being treated differently to the others.

It is crushing, you’re right but you know you love her unconditionally and you have to hold onto that fact until she sees that. My advice, for what it’s worth, is to take care of yourself during this horrible period. I’ve spent four years fighting and the court case(s) have recently come to an end with me no closer to seeing my children.

What I’m doing now is making sure I’m in as good a place as I can be so that, if and when they come back, I can look after them.

I won’t lie - it’s not easy and I don’t always succeed. Some days I just miss them so much I can’t breathe. I allow myself to grieve them and they make sure I’ve planned things to take care of myself - days out with friends, spending time with family, starting new activities. Just putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to focus on what I don’t have.

Sending you love and strength x

A cao won’t help

also it’s unlikely at 13.5 they would force her to go

and it could backfire if she says she’d prefer to live with dad and just visit you.

its really hard but all you can do is not get drawn into it and just say you love her and will always be there for her. 13 is tricky age even with parents together !

I think it can help. My DP went through family court because his DC was being alienated by the mother (other reasons too). Cafcass interviewed all parties and recognised the alienation, so recommended more time with dad. She’s still alienating but has less of a hold now as DC spends chunks of time with dad that he never had before. Problem is that cafcass don’t always see what’s in front of them. My DP got lucky being assigned an experienced and sensible cafcass officer.

I'm just finding it really heart breaking.

My kids are divided. They never tell her or their dad how it makes them feel. She is treated like an only child there, special treatment.

I text her and try to talk or call and there's no reply. I wish her a great day, tell her I love & miss her etc.

The siblings have come home today (after being with him over night for the first time in three weeks as he let them down)

They've said she had a job in a pub earning £5 collecting glasses. I spoke to their dad but he over spoke me and said she's in good hands. I said it's illegal. But it's something else I will be "ruining " for her.

They've also told me that they don't have beds there. Have to share or pillows on the floor.
Eldest has a room.

They've also said dad still hides bats, hammers and knives under his pillow.

And as far as I'm aware, he still smokes cannabis.

I asked if he could bring the four home, even if she spent an hour but he said no she's gone with my brother back to home, "I'll see what she says". Then ignored me and drove off.

I've had mediation, it's now at the stage where they contact him. (I've tried three times for mediation. He declined all)

I'm so worried to mention stuff incase of repercussions and the fact cafcass won't listen. He is the biggest wolf in sheep's clothing, as is his mother.

Oh he's also buddies with one of my friends now and invites her to stuff. My kids hate it