Dad not responsible

[ExhaustedofSurrey]

I would appreciate advice. My husband and I are separating after 6 years of marriage. There has been quite a lot of behaviour that would probably (definitely) fall under coercive control.

For the most part he's good with our daughter (4yo), but one of the ongoing issues is he's lazy and cuts corners when looking after her...or things just happen. Under his watch, she has let herself out of the house on her own, luckily the neighbour found her, and brought her home. Another time she potentially took my husbands antidepressants, after 8 hours in A&E we will still never know if she took them.

Today he lost her in town, and the police got involved, trying to find her.

I'm so nervous to leave her with him. I'm scared something will happen. Is there anything I can do? I can't just throw him out, as he'll say I can't throw him out of his own house.

Can you afford to rent somewhere?

Housing and custody are two quite different things. What is the housing situation? Jobs? Who does childcare now? Do you work? Have money? What do you need advice on right now?

Well ultimately it sounds like you’re saying you don’t want him to have unsupervised access. That’s a big deal and you’d have to go to court, get cafcass involved and ultimately demonstrate he his a danger. In order for that to be decided and imposed and it will fundamentally impact your daughter.

its pretty rare to not be given unsupervised and usually even supervised access is temporary while working towards unsupervised

what is he reasoning and response when you speak to him about these ‘incidents’?

btw I’m not making like of it but I have lost my children in shopping centre ( only for minutes but you turn round and gone) . You also need to be teaching your daughter to not walk off, not eat things she’s not given or asked etc irrespective of separation