Anybody self represented in court?

[Thefutureismyaim]

Has anybody self represented for the finances?
stbx has legal representation. I can’t afford legal representation as I quite like being able to feed my kids and I am not getting any child maintenance despite having the kids 100%.
stbx has already spent £5k on legal fees and we have only got to the first appointment stage. I did look into legal representation but the costs were estimated to be £20k upwards if it goes all the way to final hearing. It will go all the way to final hearing because stbx thinks I am only entitled to a share of the house and not a share of any other matrimonial assets because he was the breadwinner. It was a long and abusive marriage.
Am I going to be seriously disadvantaged by not having legal representation?
is it difficult to represent oneself in court when the other party is represented?

I haven’t but I know of two women who did and while hard work they did manage it. It is possible but will involve you really reading up, educating yourself and spending lots of time preparing documents etc. judges can sometimes be sympathetic.

no personal experience of them but look into mckenzie friends

you could also look to have a solicitor but keep costs down by doing a lot of it yourself, not sending loads letters and correspondence

tour goal should be to try to reach agreement out of court if possible

Thanks @millymollymoomoo we won’t be able to reach settlement out of court. We are poles apart on the idea of fairness. We have been listed for a final hearing. So far I have self represented throughout and prepared all paperwork myself. Stbx has a legal team who are hassling me to settle at way less than 50%. I don’t think anything less than 50% is a fair deal, and I think I should get a slightly higher percentage due to it being a needs based case, especially as the kids live with me. Stbx has recently moved abroad and isn’t paying any maintenance for the kids.

I did 14 years ago, I think there were 8 court hearings which I self repped at , including 2 non mols and an occupation order, which I was granted. Highly unusual apparently.

It went to final hearing but I scraped up enough money to have a barrister for that and boy did it pay off.

I ended up with 78% of the equity in the property via a Mesher order with my ex accepting a fixed amount when the sale was triggered. He also had 14k of legal bills so ended up with very little. His solicitor told him he was entitled to half the equity when he had absolutely no chance whilst I was bringing up 3 kids in the family home. She basically rinsed him and did me a favour !

My solicitor through whom the barrister was instructed said, use legal help like an army, bring the Generals in when you need to.

If it's still about, Wikivorce is an excellent hive of information, each application I made for financial disclosure I did using their guidance.
Judges are used to people self repping for some or all of proceedings, legal assistance is beyond the scope of many people's ability to pay.

It sounds like you are well prepared and more than capable of it then, in which case I don’t think you’ll be disadvantaged.

I self repped for financial and children's matters. I bought a book that explained everything in layman's terms. I learned how the system works. I was methodical with filing and annotating. I was able to represent my needs honestly and clearly. It fell heavily in my favour.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hugely time consuming and extremely stressful. I had a disabled toddler at the time and often had to do my court prep work very late at night into the early hours. What I will say is that I had a brilliant judge, that my ex husband made some utterly idiotic financial decisions thinking he could pull the wool over the judge's eyes. He also moved in with wealthy OW. All of that made my position easier and his demands untenable.

It is doable but you have to be calm and methodical with it all. Also the court system is now used to dealing with self reppers due to the sheer cost of legal assistance. They were very helpful in my case. Good luck.

Absolutely do not settle. Ignore their harassment.

Thank you everyone for the helpful replies.
I am not going to settle with the offers that stbx husband is making via his solicitor. I will go to final hearing and self represent if I really have to or if possible I will see if I can scrape together funds for a barrister just for the final hearing.
I can’t house the children if I accept the deal my ex is putting forward. I am not going to make my
children homeless by choice. The paperwork has been time consuming to date and I expect will get worse as we approach the final hearing. My ex solicitor is refusing to do the court submissions (which they should be doing as I am not represented) and I can only think that this is a tactical ploy to intimidate me into giving in to their unfair deal. Unfortunately for them I am both stubborn and determined because I have put up with too many years or inferior treatment from my ex and now need to look after me and the kids.

Hi, no advice really as I'm in exactly the same situation.
Ex's behaviour has been awful since we separated and I moved out and we have the final financial hearing in August. He is offering me 50% of the equity but he's also taking off 50% of the difference in our pensions (mine is £8k higher). And that's all he's including. Nothing about his salary being higher than mine, I have the children 60% of the time, he is living in the 3 bedroom family home and will be paying off the mortgage once we settle with only a small amount to pay back to family who has loaned him money. He also got a promotion last year and his pension contributions went up significantly so he will have caught up with mine and probably overtaken it by the hearing. He's living in the family home now alone but refusing to pay the mortgage because I applied for child maintenance so I'm having to pay that as well as my own rent elsewhere. I'm really hoping the judge can see what he's trying to do and give me a fair settlement. My ex is literally choosing to ignore all of the above points and just focus on the things in his favour. It sounds like your ex is doing the same.

Have you looked into a Direct Access Barrister at all? They are apparently cheaper then getting one via a solicitor and will just be there to put your point across and give you support. I always thought that the judge would be fair and it depends on who you get on the day apparently (which I find awful).... Surely all judges should work from the same book? But during our childcare hearing I felt literally bullied (by his barrister and the judge to give in and accept ex's proposal). They both weren't interested in the abuse claims I had against him (even though I have proof of it), they just wanted settlement. Sorry, off on a bit of a tangent there but my point is is that you'd hope that the judge is fair. From the sounds of it his offer is very unfair and I have such a problem with solicitors trying to force you into accepting it knowing it's unfair. I don't know how they sleep at night... but that's a different matter.

I wish you well my dear x

Thank you @Emsy999
sorry you are going through similar pressures.
I am looking into direct access barristers. £3-£4k for each day of a hearing and I expect we might be a two day hearing.
I have the kids 100% so under no circumstances am I accepting a below 50% of assets offer.
ex seems to think that only the house should be split despite it being a long marriage where I have sacrificed the earning capacity I had when we married for the sake of our children and family. He just wants to live the high life in another country at the expense of our children being adequately housed.

@Emsy999 his salary being higher and you having children 60% might not actually give you higher than 50.% split of assets

will depend on what’s in the pot and needs and if these can be met with 50%

I self repped for finances and children. I got a fancy barrister at the end for finances (put it on a credit card so he effectively paid for half of it as my credit card debt went into the pot) He was fully repped in both.

It was hard, hard work but I think I did a good job and got what I wanted. Emotionally it was tough as his lawyer was such a bullying gaslighter but I stood up to her and had the satisfaction of knowing whenever I did, it was costing him (lots of) money.

Many individuals have successfully represented themselves in court. The key is to be well-prepared and organised. The court recognises that self-represented litigants may need some assistance, and judges often provide guidance to ensure fairness.

Legal Framework: The court will consider various factors under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, particularly Section 25, which includes the welfare of any minor children, the financial needs and resources of both parties, and the standard of living during the marriage. Given that you have the children 100% of the time, their welfare will be a significant consideration.

Equal Sharing Principle: The principle of equal sharing of matrimonial assets is well-established, especially in long marriages. The case of White v White [2000] UKHL 54 emphasised that there should be no bias in favour of the breadwinner and that both parties' contributions to the marriage should be considered equally.

Needs-Based Approach: In cases where one party has primary care of the children, the court often takes a needs-based approach. This means ensuring that the primary carer and the children have adequate housing and financial support. The case of Miller v Miller; McFarlane v McFarlane [2006] UKHL 24 highlighted the importance of meeting the needs of the primary carer and children.

Non-Payment of Maintenance: If your ex is not paying child maintenance, this can be addressed separately through the Child Maintenance Service (CMS). The court can also consider this non-payment when making financial orders.

Preparation and Organisation: Continue to prepare your paperwork meticulously. Ensure you have all financial documents, evidence of your needs, and any relevant information about the children's needs. The court will look at the full financial picture, including both parties' assets and liabilities.

Court's Duty to Ensure Fairness: The court has a duty to ensure that the proceedings are fair, especially when one party is self-represented. Judges are aware of the potential imbalance and may take steps to ensure that you are not disadvantaged.

Thank you @Unwildered your reply is very helpful, reassuring and informative.
I have been reading everything I can about self representing and the s25 factors in the matrimonial causes act but I still sit here worrying that I am not going to get a fair deal if he is represented and I am not. On the other hand I sit here and think about all the money he is wasting getting his solicitor to send me ridiculous offers that don’t align with the considerations that should be made due to the matrimonial causes act. It definitely feels like they are trying to intimidate me into accepting an unfair deal by threatening me with a costs order etc.
I am going to continue self representing for now and decide whether I need a direct access barrister for the final hearing (if I can save enough to afford one).

I self repped (,didn't get to final hearing) snd used a direct access barrister.

It was absolutely worth it. My X tried all sorts of bullying and the lies were something else!

I would have thought that given the circumstances you describe, a Court would look to award you more than 50%. If you get to the second hearing stage, the judge should give an indication then. Also, likely that your STBX's sols should be directed to do the bundle prep?

Stbx solicitors refused to do the first bundle. Of course they are well aware it is their responsibility but they refused anyway, probably to put extra pressure on me and make me give in to their demands of accepting an unfair offer. I just got on with it and consoled myself with the knowledge that they couldn’t sneak anything into the bundle or miss anything out that I wanted included.

I self represented thru to final hearing (recent) and had a good outcome as a result. Ex spent £60k+ on legal fees in comparison trying to argue I should get less than 50% due to working p/t to facilitate his lucrative career and looking after our kids. Long marriage. I got PSOs in my favour to secure equality of income in retirement, equity in my favour due to lower earnings/ mortgage capacity and to stay in family home until kids reached 18. It is doable but you have to be ridiculously tough as it is brutal and drawn out. You also need to be super organised, able to research and have a very good grasp of all the financials and follow the court procedure to the letter. Ultimately it will come down to providing security and protecting best interests of the kids so approach everything with that goal would be my advice. Seek legal advice in the background and use FDR as a guide for what your ex and his legal team will push for/ say at final so you can prepare your open offers and case. It was worth it in the end but is the hardest thing I have ever done. Good luck!

Meant to say - look up Mackenzie Friends - a low cost form of support in court. I didn't use but would have if I'd been aware of them earlier in the process.

Hi there, you say you self repped for both finances and children but also had a barrister? Do you mean you self repped in the earlier hearings but had a barrister for the final one?

I have read that debt can be taken into account and put into the pot but didn't realise it could include legal fees spent after separation?

I am currently paying the whole mortgage on our jointly owned house (he lives there alone and I pay rent elsewhere) because he is trying to force me into accepting his out of court offer. I am having to put the whole mortgage on a credit card and I'm hoping so much that the judge takes this into consideration at settlement.

Could I ask how much a barrister cost for the final financial hearing please? They charge per hour and I know the final hearing is an all day affair so I'm thinking lots.

Well done for staying strong.

@Emsy999 I had a barrister for the second hearing and ExH caved at that point. She cost £6k all in, money well spent. I think exH's lawyer knew this was serious so they agreed to barrister's proposal right before the hearing.

Fully self repped for the child contact. I felt more confident doing that. I just stuck to what was genuinely best for the kids and that saw me right. There was proven abuse and a social services paper trail so Cafcass got involved.

Thank you!

We've only had one financial hearing so far but it's our final hearing in September. Ex just won't budge on what he's offering (which he thinks is fair and reasonable) but my solicitor has said otherwise. She says not to accept but hasn't listed out why I shouldn't accept it and hasn't told me what I should be counter offering (if that's how it works). I suppose she wants me to keep paying money to get her advice but I just can't afford to keep going back to her, the amounts are ridiculous!

I'm going to have to pay out for a barrister for the second dispute resolution hearing for the childcare as the first dispute hearing was absolutely awful. He had a barrister who was bullying me into dropping abuse claims (even though I had proof) even before I got into the court room. The judge had completely missed my position statement in her inbox and instead of adjourning for 10 minutes or so, so she could read it just carried on without reading my proposal and allegations of abuse. The judge and his barrister were both trying to get me to drop the allegations for the sake of the children, I just couldn't believe it. He lied about something which the judge noticed and that's when she finally ordered a CAFCASS report, she wasn't going to do it otherwise. I just hope CAFCASS can see right through him and how his behaviour is (and will) have an effect on the children. Ex knows the children are my whole world and I know I will be emotional so I think getting a barrister for that hearing and possibly self repping for the financial one is probably what I'll do. I just hope I come across as knowing what I'm talking about in the financial hearing.

I'm sorry you have had to deal with abuse. It sounds like you've stood up to him though which is so good. Well done you!

I self-represented in court up against a highly abusive narc with a full legal team. I couldn't afford a lawyer. I knew what he was like, and that he would have forced me to run up a huge legal bill because he loves causing conflict and "winning".

Hold your nerve. Do the paperwork and be very clear about what you want to achieve, with all the necessary papers.

It's horribly stressful (as you already know), and I take my hat off to you and any other woman who has to do this.

Keep your eyes on the prize and know that it will be over and done with at some point.

Sending strength and solidarity to you.

I'm also sending strength and solidarity to you, OP. I didn't self rep, but went to Final Hearing, which was supposed to be two days, but exH caved virtually on the steps of the court. I think he honestly didn't think I would stick to my guns. Stupid, because like you, I'm stubborn and determined! So don't assume you will be in court for two days.

I ended up with considerably more asset share than I expected.

ExH didn't comply with part of the Consent Order after the divorce, so I had to indicate I would go back to court to get him to comply. I would have had to self rep at that point. Again, he caved 😂 at just the threat of court.

So, courage, OP, get all the advice from books and Wikivorce that you need x

Hi 👋 can I ask please how did you do the bundle ? as I’m in the same boat as you were , as the applicant no funds for representation have to do for the final hearing an electronic bundle all in an index pages numbered etc I did the previous 2 hearing bundles but this time the court have added this layer of difficulty.

I did mine using Adobe (Acrobat?) the Pro version, as it made the indexing, pagination etc easy.

It wasn't straightforward to do, there is a specific way it all has to be put together. I remember I found some helpful videos on YouTube, and some good advice on Wikivorce.

Good luck.

Thank you everyone. I am going to self represent for as long as I can. I will try my hardest to get together money for a direct access barrister for the final hearing. I’ve no idea how to choose a good direct access barrister though. Just praying that the court will see through my exes self pity party and fancy legal team and actually be fair