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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How do I leave my partner?

5 replies

Mumsince2022 · 03/07/2024 15:13

This is a long one and I understand there will be some judgement.
I was with my partner since 2018. He’s 30 now and I’m 22. We have a two year old together. I broke up with him last year because there were so many issues in the relationship and it was very messy, he didn’t take it well, awful words were exchanged and it resulted in him getting a stalking conviction against myself.
Months have passed and we (very naively) got back into contact and eventually back together, unbeknownst to many people due to the conviction and “taking things slowly”. He’s since been wonderful and a great dad. We’ve been able to talk about things openly and everything has genuinely been great.
There was a little bit of a cheating scare over the weekend and I found out that he hadn’t cheated on me. However I realised that I hoped he had so I had an excuse to leave him again? I think I realised that I’m not in love with him and I just needed that closure because the previous break up was traumatic and fast. I really didn’t realise.
I think I’m in fear of breaking up again because of last time.
I feel really stuck on this one and I’m in need of some advice. What’s the best, most amicable way of breaking up that also means it’ll be agreed on? I would really hope that we could remain civil for our two year old. I have a feeling he won’t take it well either way.

OP posts:
heldinadream · 03/07/2024 15:17

Just to clarify - you were 16 and he was 24 when you got together? So I assume he's virtually the only partner you've ever had, are those two facts correct OP?
No judgement from me by the way.
If it's better for the relationship to end, so be it.

easytip · 03/07/2024 15:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

millymollymoomoo · 03/07/2024 17:03

You just need to tell him, mean it and come up with a shared parenting plan

easier said than done but don’t get drawn into things

on practical front don’t live together ? Own a house? Rent?

Mumsince2022 · 03/07/2024 18:02

Easytip - Yes that’s correct. We’re in the UK so it’s legal however morally debatable…..

OP posts:
Mumsince2022 · 03/07/2024 18:07

Millymollymoomoo - I decided to tell him, he’s currently set on going no contact but I left the option to see our daughter open and wished him the best. We no longer live together after last year’s break up. I feel like more is to follow but for now I’d say it’s gone as well as it could have

OP posts:
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