Joint account?

[Catsruledogsdroolokay]

STBEH is suggesting that we maintain a joint account to pay for shared child costs e.g clubs, clothes, school meals for our children
We both put a set amount in a month and direct debits for clubs come out of it
I can’t decide if I don’t want to do it because he suggested it (we are in a tense place at the moment) or if it’s cos having a joint account with your ex is just a bad idea full stop

Thoughts?

What do other people do?

I’ve actually suggested we keep the joint account for the same reasons when we stop living together so would be interested in whether this has been a good or bad move for others.

having a joint account with your ex is just a bad idea full stop

This. Do you really still want that connection with him? I'm assuming childcare is 50:50?

I don't think it's advisable or necessary

Bad idea.

ooo i wouldn't trust a couple of my ex's with this... they would have that money away the minute it dropped into the account.

I have one with my ex for the same practical reasons. Works for us. It caused less
Friction then constantly texting and reminding and chasing for bank transfers for half of expenditure. Especially if the other person hasn't budgeted for it or wants proof/receipts.

If it doesn't work-you can easily change it.

If you have a joint account they are on your credit report as a link.

I wouldn't. You need to sever financial connections. If he does something that affects his credit score, you will be affected.

I work in banking and the only thing I would say/warn you against is that having a joint account creates a financial link between the two of you. This could mean if he has any issues with money in the future, not paying back debt, bankruptcy etc, you being "financially linked" with him can affect your credit score negatively which could then in turn impact you getting credit, mortgages, simple things such as store cards /phone contracts

I had a joint account with my ex took me 8 years to get it closed because he wouldn't sign the paperwork. He was crap with money had ccj's and a DMP.. Don't do it is my advise

I do it and it works as despite the fact we don't like each other, we are decent people. I do the majority of buying (clothes etc for kids) so if it was left to me I'd be chasing him for money all the time. Child benefit goes into the account too.

Depends on the ex, and clear expectations for the account. Tried it briefly with my ex but it became another tool for him to use for control/provoke conflict.

So in my case for example: ‘we will put £50/month in to cover 2DC’s (known at time of separation) clubs’ soon became ‘I have signed DC2 up for horse riding lessons so you will need to up your contribution to £90/month’ with DC2 already being told the lessons were happening despite no prior discussion. Or DC1’s dance class being moved from an existing club which we took them to alternate weeks, to one nearer him, and which he took them to exclusively, meaning I only knew about shows etc if he chose to tell me (allegedly a friend from school went there and she wanted to go too - but still in my book it shouldn’t have been changed if I was paying half without a discussion first).

Ended up just paying for any clubs they went to when they were with me…in the end they didn’t go to anything when at his (broadly 50/50 split) which shows he was just using it as a controlling tool rather than having any interest in their extracurricular activities.