Separation of assets

[Harrietball1]

Im hoping you can help me -

My husband of 6 years is wanting a divorce says he's not happy etc.
When he moved in with me and my 2 children my house was worth around £500k he wanted to stay in the house and do work on it as it needed a lot of work to modernise it. New windows, patio, bathrooms, kitchen etc. he spent around 100k I also spent money around 20k on curtains,
sofa, mainly fixtures and fittings mirrors, pictures
( soft furnishings to make the place look and feel homely )
We then also built an annex to rent out for our future to the cost of 50k Dh paid around 37k and myself around 20k but again I paid extra for curtains, bed, sofa etc inside the annex.

DH is now wanting his money back after the divorce, plus half of the interest that the house has made during this time and the increase it has gone up by.

He is about to retire, but up until then he was earning 3x more than me.
He also has a house which he rents out which he had before we met.

I feel my needs are greater as I will need a 3/4 bedroom house and him self a smaller house as it’s only himself.

I don’t want to move but can’t afford to stay there on my own with DC
What are your thoughts……..?
Im happy to pay him back what he put in but I think half of the interest is to much as I had the bigger share to start with plus his house will have gone up in value also, which I'm not claiming against.

You need a solicitor to advise you on this, I think.

Don't get legal advice from an internet forum when you are taking these sums. You need a solicitor

What are each of your pensions worth?

His around 500k, mine 65k as all of my money is tied up in the house.
His property is around 300k
its such a mess.

Ok so this is really positive because it means you have a bit more leverage.

I would suggest you tell him he should walk away with what he has and you will leave his pension alone and pay him back the £100k if you can afford to and still stay in the house.

He can keep his property and his pension and you will not come after either of the values these have increased by over the same 6 year period.

Thank you that makes a lot of sense…….. funny how you can see things so easy from a different perspective.
thanks for taken the time to reply.

Get legal advice. Don't offer to pay him anything until you have done this.

Given that he has a house and large pension you could also counter claim on, it sounds like even 50/50 could work in your favour.

You need legal advice, its a short marriage and no joint children which would normally mean being put back into the position you were however he has invested heavily in your house so will have a claim on it. You need everything to go through a solicitor simply so he knows you are not going to be made a fool of.

Thank you, i just don’t want to come across as greedy, however I am 11 years younger with 2 dependents at university,
So also need to think of my future.

50/50 of everything you mean ?

As the PP said, he's focused on your house whereas it's the assets in total that count. That includes his rental property as well as his pension. Normally you basically put everything on the table and then look at things from there, rather than cherry picking bits as he's doing
I'd recommend speaking with a solicitor again as others have said.

Yes, 50/50 of everything. He can't just cherry pick the bits he wants.

Get proper legal advice. If he is at retirement age or close to it and you are not then stock advice on pension equalisation is not applicable.

The university students aren’t going to count as dependents.

The marriage is short but your finances became entwined and he retired. There is a lot of money. I’d say you owe him some money. Possibly as described, the money spent in the home and value added to properties and pensions. Which seems about right morally and legally.

Thank you that makes sense.
I think then we would both walk away with similar amounts as I think his property and pension are worth around 800k and my house is now worth around 750k I just feel guilty that he has invested heavily and won’t get as much back as he invested.
But I guess things change.
He is completely focused on what my house is now worth.

Get legal advice. Your ex clearly hasn’t because he’s glossed over the fact that his property, pension etc are also part of the marital pot.

Thank you so much, everyone has been super helpful. I was thinking I was going to have to pay him back 200k which would leave me where I started 10 years ago.
I will speak with him this evening although I don’t think he will like what he’s going to hear.
it makes so much sense now.

I wouldn't offer too much up tonight when you talk to him. Be careful, he isn't your friend and he's shown that he's not to be trusted.

Play your cards close to your chest.

Thank you….🙏🏻

Thank you. I will look into solicitors, I want to do what is morally right, however had we bought a house together at the start we would have needed to maintain the property and I guess he wouldn’t be asking for his money back. The property would have been valued and halved.

So I’ve just looked at the spreadsheet, as buried my head in the sand a little and
now feeling more confident and comfortable.
The spreadsheet shows skips to value of £450.00 decoration, tools he bought for diy jobs, gravel for the driveway, wood for various projects. Surely if we had bought somewhere together all of these jobs would have needed to be done.