Is it inevitable you will end up in debt during and following a split?

[oObyeOo]

I just don’t know how I could make ends meet!… I barely do now and that’s with dh paying all of the bills!

The house is in his name, plus he’d stay there with dc, It would be me who would have to leave.

If I leave and rent a house… the only way i can do it is on credit card!

Is this a normal part of separation?

DH? If you’re married then it doesn’t matter whose name it is in.

But I don’t pay towards any bills, and he would keep the house with the kids in.

Even if he did sell up and we split the costs. Initially, how do I afford to move out… like tomorrow! How do I just leave?

Do you have your own income and a job?

Yes I do. I work full time. Kids are 14 & 10 so no childcare costs.

I have £3k in debt that I’m trying to pay off with £300 a month. But I can’t afford bills on top of this. I will have to use my credit card and I’m just stressed at the thought of going in to more debt

His money is your money. 50 % of assets are yours

Do not leave the house. Half of it is yours even if it’s only his name on the deeds and mortgage. You have rights.

If DH is paying all of the bills, what are you currently paying for?

Stay where you are, you should be entitled to benefits if your wages are low. He needs to pay maintenance. You'll be fine, speak to citizens advice before you do ANYTHING and ask to speak to a benefits/income maximization officer. You'll be ok. Can you get a 0% card to transfer the money to?

If you work full time but your husband pays the bills I don't understand what your money goes on to be honest? Divorce means having a complete financial reassessment of the way you live and learning to live within your means . I'm sure there will be some benefits you are entitled to which will also top you up

Do you have no savings as a couple?

All good advice except for "he needs to pay maintenance". There's no maintenance if it's 50/50 care and if the children stay with him, OP would be the one paying maintenance.

Splitting up can be expensive so taking some time to plan is a good idea. Once you are settled on your own costs are usually doable, universal credit will top up if needed and you already work full time which is brilliant.

Why do you need to move out tomorrow? Has something happened tonight?

If there is domestic violence meaning that you need to move out straight away then womens aid is a brilliant resource and it’s free to stay whilst you save up.

If there is no domestic violence could you “nest” for a couple of months whilst you sort finances? The kids stay in the house and you and ex take turns to be there. You stay with friends or family when it’s not your turn.

Everything which you jointly own is owned 50/50 as a starting point so I think that you’ll be better off than you think once you look into it.

Have you talked about how you will split looking after the kids?

It’s not that straight forward to answer as everyone’s circumstances are different. But there are options, marital assets would likely be split 50/50 doesn’t matter who’s been paying the bills, you may be able to claim child maintenance (it’s not a given the children would stay with him), spousal maintenance, benefits. If you work full time set a budget for your income down to the penny of what it will cover. You’d need to seek full proper legal advice I wouldn’t just leave unless your safety in is danger in which case I’d contact a woman’s charity. If safe you could stay and save also.

If neither of you can afford/willing to move out you can separate under one roof and live together while everything is sorted .

No it's not inevitable but it's a reality for many. If the decision to split is mutual then you need to work out how to do it and split assets

You are correct in that most couples do both end up poorer as two single people than when living together and pooling resources. It doesn't matter who's name the house is in. You will still get half of the equity. If your h wants to remain in the house he'd have to pay you half of the equity. You'll likely pension share too. You need to speak with a solicitor. If you do 50/50 care on number of nights DC are with you both no maintenance is paid. You both pay half towards things like uniforms, kids hobbies and school trips. If your DH has the DC every night you'll be the one paying maintenance to him for your kids.

So
whose name is on what is not relevant
who paid what is not relevant
there are Marital assets. These need to be accumulated and understood so a split of assets can be worked out.

that split will depend on both your incomes , your ages, what’s available to share, what both your respective needs are, children, and so on. It might be 50:50 or could be a different split in either direction

many couples cannot afford to rent elsewhere while in the process of separation and remain living together while they work all this out.

generally the advice is ( unless domestic abuse where you’re in danger) for neither party to live out - that doesnt forgo your share of asset but generally loses a bit of control

If you work full-time and he pays the bills, where's your money going? You could've paid the 3k off in no time with him covering the outgoings.

Most other things. Food, fuel for 2 cars. Mots and repairs x2. Clothes, trips, holidays etc

Sorry, do you know my income and outgoings?

Obviously not, hence the question.

Are you just thinking of divorce or is it going to happen? The usual is to split stuff 50/50 there are a few exceptions but you need legal advice which is really expensive. I have two friends divorcing right now. One is paying £200 per hour and her family unit as a whole is well off and she will be fine. My other friend isn’t and has so far worked at it herself. The house is up for sale soon and proceeds will be 50/50 starting though she wants more to buy a small house outright.

What are the reasons for the break up, my mate who is doing it herself is an extremely intelligent woman and has the upper hand because he had an affair and is trading on his limited guilt.

I’d say it was more of a judgement than a question

Look, clearly I don't know your very specific situation, but you're asking if it's inevitable that you'll end up in debt in a divorce and my 'judgement' based on what you've put here is that it's not inevitable at all if you have a full-time income and your DH has covered all the bills, as even not knowing your income, a full-time wage would accumulate to £3k within a matter of months. You've only said that your outgoings are a £300 payment against this debt. Unless you're much more transparent about the situation, then I can't conclude otherwise. If you're paying out thousands in childcare or somesuch a month then obviously that's different, but I'd have thought you'd mention that.