Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

3 Solicitors later and my brother decided to represent himself it was the best thing he did

10 replies

lutestring34 · 18/06/2024 13:34

Hi Folks,

Just wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on using a solicitor for a divorce. My brother has had a nightmare of a time! He hired a solicitor as his ex wife was abusing him and chucked him out of the house. She took his car, passport and all his belongs and refused him access. They don't have any children...He went with a local solicitor and everything initially was going well. A few weeks into the divorce his solicitor who is the managing director of the law firm told him "I am going away for a few weeks so no one will be able to deal with your case" he was pretty shocked by this as in any business its normal to have someone to cover your work when your away.

Anyway she went away on holiday, when she came back he had a meeting with her to complete a voluntary Form E. During this process he went back to the house to collect his belongings as the house had been sold his wife refused him access and called the Police.

The police told him to come back when she had left the house and collect his items. He agreed with his wife (in front of the police) that he could return on Monday to collect his things. He went back on Monday and she had stripped the entire house including light fittings, door mats and carpets. He was really angry and upset and rang the solicitor who told him 'Why are you upset about loosing a couple thousand pounds worth of items, you need to focus on the Form E", to say he was livid was an understatement, he had lost everything he worked for , for the last 7 years, she had taken everything he owned including clothes, electronics, gym equipment and even his tools he needed for work. He spoke the police and they couldn't help.

He spoke to the solicitor again who said 'it's best to just focus on resolving this, I suggest you give 90% of the sales of proceeds to your wife so you can move on with your life". After this conversation he fired her...he told me why would he continue to pay the solicitor when she didn't even want to help him?

He then spent 3 weeks trying to find a new solicitor, most of the ones he spoke to were not interested in taking over an on-going case. He found a law firm that uses independent consultants, again for the first 6 / 7 months things were going okay although very very slowly..he was paying his solicitor £2,500 on average a month and little progress was being made. He came to the conclusion after 4 months in a row paying £2,500 for 1 phone call and 6 chaser letters that nothing was happening and the solicitor was essentially 'milking him dry'. He spoke to the solicitor and said all we need to do is agree the finances, on paper its simple, why don't we have a face to face meeting with the other party and resolve this? his solicitor came back and said "no it will cost you too much, you will need to pay £1K for my day rate and we might not get anywhere, its better we do this slowly and continue over the next several months to send letters". He replied saying "so its better I spend £10K sending letters with you than having one meeting that could resolve this", the solicitor replied "you don't understand how these things work it takes time", needless to say he fired him...and also wasted a lot of his money!

The last solicitor he hired was setting up a new law firm and said she was available to take on new clients, he explained the situation to her and she seemed great at first...she said she would definitely arrange a meeting with the other party and get to work asap. He sent her over his file , paid a £1500 retainer fee and waited and waited and waited...every week he asked her for an update she would say "sorry I am busy building my website, "sorry I have a photo shoot today", "sorry I am in meetings today", again after 1 month and no work done he fired her.

At this point I told him he really needed to get a grip on the situation and stop wasting his time and money changing solicitors, he said he would represent himself...and believe it or not wit the help of Wikivorce he has almost resolved the entire divorce in 4 weeks despite the second solicitor telling him it would take another 6-9 months to resolve...
My brother has been able to send chaser letters, telephone calls and emails to his hearts content to the other party without worrying about costs. He has continued to put the other party under pressure and they have finally come to the table and realised this matter isn't going to go away and go on for years..a signed consent order has been sent to the judge so this should all be over soon!

I do feel sorry for him, in total he has spent close to £45,000 on legal costs and wasted 16 months of his life, on such a simple divorce. All they had to do was agree how to split the sales of proceeds, but his ex wife who is a narcissist continued to delay things, accuse him of things, stopped responding etc, she did everything she could try and think of to make this drag on as long as possible!

OP posts:
Wry · 18/06/2024 13:42

Dear Marketing Director of Wikivorce,

Editors are much cheaper than divorce solicitors, and still cheaper than paid for ads.

Best
A Mumsnet reader

lutestring34 · 18/06/2024 16:01

Wry · 18/06/2024 13:42

Dear Marketing Director of Wikivorce,

Editors are much cheaper than divorce solicitors, and still cheaper than paid for ads.

Best
A Mumsnet reader

^^ this is a post I made to discuss my brother's divorce...I am not from wikivorce...and even if I were associated with them they are charity that provide totally free advice...so I don't see the harm in letting people know about them. Believe it or not there are a lot of people out there who can't afford to pay a solicitor £300 an hour...

OP posts:
ShySharks · 18/06/2024 21:55

So sorry to hear that your brother spent all of that money on solicitors. They are a total rip off!! My divorce and child arrangements order has recently been finalised. I did 90% of the paperwork myself, it wasn’t easy but it was free!
I had to instruct a direct access barrister for my final court hearing and this was money well spent.
I hope that you receive your consent order soon. They normally only take about two weeks to be approved so fingers crossed for him.
Best wishes.

Brushmyteeth · 19/06/2024 00:44

Did he write to her directly or did she have a solicitor who he wrote to?

Lkjhgdsrtgbjjm · 19/06/2024 09:40

That's so much money to have spent. There are some bad solicetors around unfortuanately.

lutestring34 · 19/06/2024 13:35

Brushmyteeth · 19/06/2024 00:44

Did he write to her directly or did she have a solicitor who he wrote to?

He wrote directly to her solicitor, to be fair he told me her solicitor was really nice it was his ex wife who was the problem!

He's been waiting almost 3 weeks now for the financial consent order!

OP posts:
Oblomov24 · 19/06/2024 13:46

In most cases a solicitor isn't even required. Filling out the forms isn't hard.

ShySharks · 19/06/2024 14:27

Maybe email the solicitor and ask if and when the financial consent order was sent to the court?
My ex’s solicitor held ours up by making a typo.
You can ring the court too and see if it’s in the que.

lutestring34 · 19/06/2024 15:26

ShySharks · 19/06/2024 14:27

Maybe email the solicitor and ask if and when the financial consent order was sent to the court?
My ex’s solicitor held ours up by making a typo.
You can ring the court too and see if it’s in the que.

He spoke to her solicitor 3 weeks ago who confirmed it was sent directly to the courts.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 19/06/2024 15:33

Bottom line is, his ex cane to the table to talk when she was ready, nothing to do with him sending letters etc. Hopefully the consent order gets sorted.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread