Mumsnet forums helped me so much when I was going through family court with my ex husband, I wanted to share my experiences in the hope of helping anyone else out there.
My ex husband took me to court as our 3 daughters were refusing to stay overnight with their Dad. Their dad was looking for a complete change to the childrens routine which included 10 overnight stays per month. We separated 4 years ago when the children were 4,7 &11 and they have seen their Dad 3 times per week since then. A relationship has always been encouraged by myself. The children have maintained the stance that they want to see their dad but they don’t want to sleep over. He would not listen to them and hence we ended up in court when the children were 8,11 &14. There is a history of threatening behaviour from my ex husband towards me which was witnessed by our eldest child on a few occasions during our marriage.
For the first court hearing I decided to represent myself as I felt disgruntled that I should have to pay for legal representation. It was an awful experience. The CAFCASS representative, in my opinion, was on the side of my ex solicitor as they clearly knew each other from working in the same court every week. Be aware of this, as I wasn’t, it is why I would advise anyone if they can to get a legal representative in court. The judge was very fair.
For my second hearing I hired a Barrister and this was definitely the best decision I made. She was professional and understanding. It is a lot cheaper if you hire a Direct Access Barrister than a Solicitor.
The outcome of our second hearing was that the children didn’t have to engage in overnight contact. They still have the regular contact with their dad that they always have done. It’s a pattern that they are happy with, it is their childhood.