Separation

[jumpinjelly]

I’m going to use this a lot as I don’t know how to do anything. We’ve agreed to not b a couple, I’ve said, because I’m soft and don’t want him leaving, so I said I should go it’s me who lost the feeling… but then we decided to stay in the house together for a while as I don’t want to leave my boys or this house and the boys want me to stay. I checked in on husband’s thinking and feelings today and he’s under impression i would be looking for a house. So now I’m really unsettled- it was tough enough being honest about my feelings for him but how does a mum leave her boys in their family home and go? I just can’t

Well, if you're going to follow through on separation, eventually at least one of you, if not both, is going to have to leave. You told your husband you would physically leave, so it's not surprising he thinks you're going to... physically leave. You're going to have a hard time walking that back.

You can both stay put until the divorce, but everything is going to hinge on the house situation. Owned? Rented? How much equity? What do you both earn? Other assets? Is there a primary carer? How do you expect residence to be split - 50:50, or unequally? How old are the DC, are we talking preschoolers or older teens?

If neither one of you can afford to buy the other out and take over the mortgage (if any) solo, the house, if owned, will have to be sold anyway.