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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Advice..parenting communication

4 replies

Citylife2024 · 14/06/2024 23:24

Hoping I can get some advice, my child sees their dad very early but any interaction he has with myself is abusive, insulting and generally controlling and not pleasant,
im just at a loss of what to do as it’s having an effect on me and I don’t know if there is anything I can do to put things in place to set more boundaries without having to go to court,
I don’t respond to the abusive, often over the phone and text. Often unreasonable demands and he tells me the plan of child arrangements rather than asks me. Currently only verbal arrangement, our child lives with me full time. Thanks

OP posts:
FatfunandADHD · 15/06/2024 07:43

What sort of things is dad choosing to contact you about?

I'd go none response on anything not critical and probably send a message at the beginning of the month / week agreeing telling him the contact times for that period.

Alternatively there are parenting apps now where you communicate only through them. It advises you if your message is rude/ abrupt so giving you the opportunity to soften it and also stores all sent and received messages which I believe can be used in court if needed.

Citylife2024 · 15/06/2024 11:33

@FatfunandADHD thanks for this, the only contact is regarding arranging pick ups/drop off but as he often rearranges times or cancels altogether, if I don’t meet his demands of amended time or day then I’m met with the abusive,
threatening me with court, and generally unkind

OP posts:
BookArt · 15/06/2024 12:00

Our family wizard app means everything can go through that. It does calls, calendar, upload documents. Messages can't be deleted. Then block on everything else.

ShySharks · 18/06/2024 22:37

You could pay a solicitor to send him a letter to state the arrangement times and maybe a sentence within that letter with something like ‘All further correspondence between both parents will be saved and recorded.’
Just to let him know that you aren’t putting up with his behaviour.
He sounds like a bully.
My ex tried this for a spell and during a heated conversation I told him that all of the texts are saved incase I needed them in the future.
He stopped the aggressive texts after that.

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