I feel really numb and stuck

[jumpinjelly]

3 weeks ago i told my husband i couldn’t be a couple with him anymore. There’s loads to it, it was something I’ve kept hidden from him and been acting normal for a very long time because know one wants to break up a marriage and family. I know it was the right thing to do, I don’t have those right feelings for him. We’ve been together 26 years married 19, have 2 boys 17 and 21 who all live at home. It’s been decided for now we will stay in the family home and parent, it’s what the boys want and I don’t want to leave my home, nor doe their dad. I’m finding although I’m not living a lie now I’m really numb, I’m trying to live so everything is as good as it can be for husband as I struggle to hurt his feelings. I can’t bear the thought of leaving this house and I can’t imagine what would become of husband if he moved out as he’s not strong and plays victim. So yes, I’m feeling really numb, stuck, is this normal? I thought I’d want to get out and be social but I don’t have any interest. I go the gym work yoga visit family and make sure home is as happy as it can be. I’m 49 and in peri but not doubting my feelings at all. I guess I’m probably sad and scared. Anyone relate or give me idea my future might b brighter

Can you look into buying him out of the house?
Are you in separate bedrooms?

I am in the same situation as you @jumpinjelly
Similar length marriage and ages of DC.
We are planning to tell them this weekend which I am utterly dreading.

We're in separate bedrooms until the house gets sold but the atmosphere is becoming increasingly hostile

Oh, goodness that’s going to b difficult, I felt the boys being older made it worse but Idk there’s probably no easy time. There’s no winners and we can only hope in the fullness of time it was the right decision. The atmosphere in my house isn’t too bad, we get along well so far but it’s early days. I think if i wanted and start going out more that will cause insecurities so im hoping and it sounds terrible that he maybe goes on dates eventually before me, im not interested tho and am just focusing on one day and keeping the home calm

I'm also in the same boat, however, my OH hasn't accepted it just yet, I've cried wolf that many times by threatening to end the marriage that he doesn't believe me. However, I know I will be in your position soon and I can only say that I think a clean break by not living together will probably change things for the better eventually, as although you are separated, by living together it is as if you aren't. It's hard, I feel guilt about breaking up the family but we need to put ourselves first.