Should I stop the rent.

[Normalguy22]

Long story short. My ex moved out 18 months ago. I’m a high earner (£150k) she earns £40k. I stayed in the family home with the 3 grown up kids. (18/20/24)
I paid for the home and upkeep of the kids ( 2 in education).
I also agreed for pay her rent for a time (£1500).
The family home is on the market but not sold yet. The divorce is all but finalised.
I’ve found a place I want to buy and I’m buying it as a separate issue to selling the main house. I’ve planning on telling her that I’m going to be moving there and that I will no longer be paying her rent.
her options will be:
1/ to continue paying her own rent and staying put ( I’ll continue paying for main home until sold.
2/ she can move back in and pay for the main home (£1500pm).

I know she will kick off at this at she’s a very selfish person but is this fair?
most of my friends can’t believe I’m even paying the rent in the first place especially as she was the one who moved on with someone else.

Not sure if it matters but if I’m honest I’m I suffer a lot of anxiety around her due to a lot of domestic abuse over the years she’s a very strong person.

What has been agreed financially and has that been signed off by the courts?

Did you tell her you would pay this money until the marital home was sold?

Where will your kids go?

I can’t believe you’ve been paying her rent for that amount of time to be perfectly honest.
I do agree that for the sake of your kids (grown up or not) you need to be as reasonable as possible.
I think give her fair notice, maybe 2-3 months and also honour anything you agreed upfront (like until the house sold etc.) but 18 months is plenty enough time for her to figure out how to support herself. It’s not your job to keep her.

married?

wait you’re getting a divorce

so what’s been agreed in the financial settlement?

I think you need to get the house sold and money split - when was the house put on the market?

Wouldn’t you normally pay occupational rent to the other person who jointly owns the house for their share of ownership if you are solely living in the house you jointly own?

Do you have a solicitor? I'd be looking at the financial as a whole and getting the financial part of the divorce finalised by courts. No, you shouldn't be paying her rent.

The divorce finance is all sorted. (50/50 split when sold).
Should be final in next month.

this agreement was not written into the divorce settlement.

massive failing on both your divorce lawyers and yourselves for not considering

I would be stopping the rent. 50 50 split does not allow for continuation of rental payments. She would have to take you back to court and it would cost her alot more than the rebt,and highly unlikely she would win anythuming more.

Sorry about typos!

It depends, did she take time out of work to raise children, whilst you continued to work full time, meaning she doesn’t have your earning potential? If so then I think morally the right thing would be to support her until the sale went through (maybe not the full rent though, but a portion if she was struggling)

So you don't have a financial order? Clean break is most preferred option.