How do I define housing needs?

[Thefutureismyaim]

I need to submit 3 sets of property particulars that can meet the needs of me and the kids. How do I do this?
my ex might not agree that my needs are as I state they are.
he will no doubt think I only need two bedrooms but I need 3 and if we were renting we would qualify for 3 bedrooms under housing benefit / universal credit housing allowance rules .
the children live with me and spend every night at home with me.
i can’t get any 3 bedroom house in the school area for much difference in price than the current house and certainly not after deducting selling fees and removal costs.
what am I supposed to present to the court? I’m assuming it has to be the cheapest possible ‘suitable’ properties?
also, ex isn’t tied to living in the local area as he doesn’t have to consider being close to schools so how do I choose 3 properties that are suitable for him?
he won’t get a mortgage as he has poor credit and has recently gone self employed. I won’t get a mortgage as my earnings are low.

You: put the following parameters into Rightmove
Postcode of school with 1 mile (or whatever) radius
Max realistic budget (factoring in CMS you will need to pay him if he is resident parent)
No. Bedrooms needed

Him
The same if you think it will be shared care.
If not, amend the postcode. To his workplace/ his parents etc
The number of bedrooms should be the same at both houses (if they can share when with him, they can share at yours as well)
Amend budget to whatever his contribution to your current housing cost is, (factoring in CMS he will need to pay you if you are the resident parent)

He doesn’t have the children overnight and there is no plans for this to happen for reasons I can’t go into on here. Our housing needs are definitely not the same.

Also he doesn’t pay any CMS because he is self employed and not declaring any income as he takes it all cash in hand. He gave up his employed job to avoid having to pay CMS.

In that case, use the same postcode, then amend the number of bedrooms to 1 (or studio). -assuming he will see them and they will maintain a relationship, even if they don't stay overnight.
Use the budget as before

he won’t get a mortgage as he has poor credit and has recently gone self employed. I won’t get a mortgage as my earnings are low
So neither of you will get a mortgage? Both renting or are you hoping you stay in the property, you both continue to pay the mortgage and he pays rent elsewhere out of area?

Whether you need 2 or 3 bedrooms depends on age of children and any additional needs.

3 children, all have additional needs. One is a teenager.

The mortgage is being paid for by me on my own. Ex has already moved out and is renting but he wants to buy a property. I have been paying the mortgage by myself for quite some time. I get no financial help from ex towards the mortgage or the kids. It is a relatively small mortgage and I can manage it but I wouldn’t get a new mortgage based on my current circumstances. Ex is not on the mortgage. I can’t work more hours to increase my income because of the kids extra needs. To be honest, it’s a massive struggle to maintain the hours that I am currently working. I don’t think I could afford to rent a property and there is a huge shortage of houses to rent in the area.

For 3 kids then you need 3 bedrooms minimum, if the teen is 16+ they get their own room, under 16's can share with same sex siblings. Complex additional needs may get own room younger but you need to justify that so for simplicity I would say you check the prices of 3 bed houses/flats within 2-3 miles of schools and that's what you base your finances on, you could alternatively use the local housing allowance figure.

Thank you @mitogoshi
under local housing allowance I would be eligible for four bedrooms but I can’t see a court agreeing that I need four bedrooms.
I would buy shared ownership if anything was available locally but the only thing available is 1 or two bedroom flats. I can’t live in a flat even if I had a 3 bedroom one as it wouldn’t be suitable with one of the kids disabilities. Anything that I buy needs to have enough space inside and out to make the essential adaptations needed for one of the children. He can’t be independent around the house if I don’t get the necessary adaptations. Current house is perfect for my children and the required work has already been done but I know that my ex will be entitled to a decent amount due to his own housing needs and lack of mortgage capacity.
to be honest, if it wasn’t for my children’s needs and concern about adequate housing I would have divorced years ago instead of living in fear and being miserable.

He’s already renting, how long has he been doing that?

I would argue that he is appropriately housed and able to afford to rent since he’s been doing that for X number of months. Although ideally he would be able to purchase a property, the children’s needs trump his and due to their additional needs a house move would not be in their best interest. In addition you can’t increase your borrowing to buy him out and you’re also footing the costs for all of the children as he does not contribute a penny.

If he is a trades person working cash in hand I am sure a judge would make certain assumptions about his true income if his income is very low/non existent.

The court won’t turf the children out on to the street just so that he can buy a flat if it means they are not then suitably housed. Their needs come first and they don’t need any space at his.

Make sure you also detail what needs they have and any reasons why they will depend on you for longer than a child might usually expect to live at home.

Thank you @Mumof3confused
the children have significant needs, in particular one of them. I don’t want to give too much revealing info away but one child qualifies for the highest rate of DLA for both care needs and mobility and that will likely continue throughout his whole life. He has a normal life expectancy so will need care beyond the age of 18. They will all need some care beyond the age of 18 but one will not have any independence at all.
Ex will argue he is not adequately housed as he has officially said he is sofa surfing and needs to buy a property but he has also said he is paying rent and cannot afford the rent.
I honestly can’t believe he has such little regard for his children and would happily see them
homeless so he can live the life of Riley and have a house bigger than what he needs.
i should be cracking on with sorting the paperwork I need to submit to court for the first financial directions appointment but I can’t even face it tonight after an exhausting day meeting all the kids needs.