Financial settlement - high earner

[BarnsleyChop]

I’m just considering my options at the moment at wondering how the financials are worked out in divorce? I’m 40, husband is 50, one primary aged school child in private school (KS1). No other children. Married 13 years. He earns 100k and I earn 25k and work part time to be around for our child. I am happy to increase my hours further to increase my earnings but time wraparound care ends and my job will limit hours/earning capacity. Can probably up earnings to £34,000 if increase hours.

Mortgaged house, £140,000 equity, £20,000 joint savings. He has a private pension worth £180,000. I’m not sure what mine is but I’ve applied to find out.

I know the premise begins from splitting assets 50/50. I’m envisaging our child will stay 2/3 days at his (most likely 2 days) and rest with me.

Any guidance on what’s fair?

Whilst he's a relatively high earner, he's not at the level that generally affects divorce.

The key things are that you need to work out total assets including pension, maximise your income even if that means wrap up around care, you need to decide on contact amount then you need to work out how you can be adequately housed, a 2 bed in your case as a minimum, and your borrowing power. Often in this sort of situation you can get more equity but not a given. If you can amicably work out division of assets it will save you a lot of money because using solicitors to negotiate will eat into that equity fast, several thousand each even if you are fairly quick.

Your joint assets aren't enormous and it looks like the bulk of it is his pension so I can't imagine he will be happy to be forking over a big chunk of that. He can offset it against the equity in the house slightly and your own pension but they are likely to be a fraction of his so a lot of that would be going to you even if 50/50 which should really be the minimum you should expect from a long marriage with a child.

Can you afford to get a mortgage on your own on the house? 60/40 split doesn't seem unreasonable but can you argue that you have been disadvantaged by the marriage career wise? Did you take years out of work, move to better his career, do the bulk of the school admin pick ups, before/after school pick ups drop off etc?

As a couple you don’t have much in the way of assets, enough but not enough to spend a lot fighting about it. And although he earns more, income may be closer that the salary gap once you take into account tax, benefits and child support.

With only one child both your needs are a 2 bedroom property. I’d say you will be have to come to terms with some difficult choices. Not least of all a private school. You can’t afford it and he won’t be able to afford it with big outgoings on child support.

You might find yourself squeezed because of the lack of assets and your relatively low income. Think about long term career choices because you might find yourself trapped in dependency on benefits and child support. All of which end at some point.

Your immediate problem might be that you get a big payout but can’t get a mortgage and have to rent. That will dwindle your capital because you will be above savings thresholds for UC.

Agree with lemontt

he’s high but not that high
you’ll be expected to go full time or claim top up benefits if possible as well as cms
you both need a 2 bed place
you might be able to offset some pension for higher share of equity but it’s not 1-1 £ and will need proper valuation, as well as him being 10 years older thus having less time to rebuild /mortgage term vs you

I don’t think you can afford private schooling

your savings and equity will quickly be consumed if you build up loads of solicitor fees

I may need to switch back to previous job and look at different wraparound care/weekend work. This would bring my salary up to £45,000.

I do most pick up/school drop offs. He was earning £130,000 until recently but was made redundant and is consulting at the moment. I switched jobs to a more. Flexible role to allow for childcare as he worked long hours/was away in his old role.

I have looked on Rightmove and could buy a 2 bed house for £150,000 in our town. I could also apparently borrow upto £145,000 over 25 years based on earning £35,000 and child maintainance of £600 per month.

im aware he’s only got 15 years to retirement and don’t want him living somewhere horrendous. I’ll do some thinking…

Thanks

You can't afford private school so that needs dealing with for September - give notice asap.
Your assets are not very high as a couple at your ages. He can't be looking to retire if that's an accurate pension pot?

Down sizing the house to reduce the mortgage and make the most of your equity makes the most sense. You also need to look at increasing your own income as much as possible. If ex wants 50/50 care then you may get no maintenance

Would appreciate some advice, if ex husband as been paying the mortgage on the family home since 2018 when I moved out does it affect what I'm intitled to in the financial settlement now we are officially divorced
Thanks in advance

So I’ve been to see a solicitor. She is hopeful for a 60/40 split of equity. He works 60 hour weeks and only manages one pick up a week so no change of a 50/50 childcare arrangement. I’ve upped my hours at work and signed up for some lucrative agency shifts. I’ve done some looking about on Rightmove and have decided I’ll buy a flat rather than a house to enabler to only need a small mortgage (£300 a month) with my equity from the house. Then I don’t need to disrupt our child’s education. Feeling happier now. Just searching about for mediators now.

@RubyFish you should start your own thread to get advice.