Is it weird to want to know where my DC is?

[Cryingemoji]

Hi all

Have been separated from exh for a few months now. He's indicated that he'd like our dc to visit him at his new flat for the first time.

He's refusing to let me know the address.

Is it weird to want to know where my dc will be visiting or should I just accept that they are with their dad and therefore perfectly fine?

For context dc is 11 years old, but has rarely been away from me.

Please be kind, I am aware it may seem overprotective.

Tia x

He probably doesn’t want you to know how much he's spent on it.

How is your DC getting there? Would your ex want to know where you lived if you move?

Ex is going to pick them up.

100% he would expect to know our address if we moved and I can't think of a reason for withholding it.

I find it very odd that if you were still married/together it would be expected that you know where your child is at all times. If someone said ‘Where is your son?’ And you just said ‘No idea!’ child services would be called.Yet, now you aren’t together you have no right and are controlling to suggest you should know where your child is 50% of the time. How can that be switched off?

What about if something happens to them and the parent (accident, fire, attacked) when they are together and you have no idea? How much time would it delay help if you don’t even know where they are meant to be? Surely it’s a basic health/safety precaution for both parents to know where their child is!

If someone said ‘Where is your son?’ And you just said ‘No idea!’ child services would be called.Yet,

Errrm, not if they were with their other parent they wouldn't?!

Sorry not sure why the bold didn't work. Was meant to be in response to @Drttc

Reverse that, do you think men should have to know where their children are at all times? Bet you don't you would call that controlling. Children's services wouldn't be called you would say they were with their father 🤦🏻‍♀️

I said if you were a married (together) couple!

Yes, I applied to both when I said ‘Surely it’s a basic health/safety precaution for both parents to know where their child is!’

Well that's irrelevant as they aren't a couple and either way you would still say they are with their father. Separated parents don't have a "right" to know where their kids are at all times. The only time they need permission is if they are taking the child abroad and even then they don't have to tell them exactly where. Be careful what you wish for as I imagine most women would NOT like it if they had to tell their exes where they were at all times when they are with their children and every place they visit since most women don't even like having to ask permission to take the child on holiday.

This is what I found hardest after splitting - being so detached from my children. Not being there for part of their lives (and they only went every second Saturday!)

Assuming you have his mobile number and he would be contactable in event of an emergency then you just have to get used to it. Accept the other parent has the right to parent as he sees fit, barring any suspicion of abuse.

Oh my goodness I didn’t say they had a right to it! You can’t take snippets and change what I actually said - I said when a couple is together they are expected to always know where their child is so it is difficult to just switch that off! I said knowing a child’s whereabouts is linked to health and safety and thereby logical! If you disagree (obviously), totally fine! Of course if an ex partner is dangerous that changes things. I’m referring to healthy co-parenting involving an exchange of information.

You will have the address though as your child will know it after their first visit there!