Form E

[BarnsleyChop]

I’m wanting to divorce my husband. He’s financially and emotionally controlling but I’m worried about what might come out on form E incase I need to submit it. I don’t want to be caught out in a lie and make the already awful process of divorcing, worse.

i lent my brother £200 last October after his car broke down (my husband hates my brother). He paid me back within 10 days via a bank transfer. It was from my own savings account. I really don’t want this coming coming out if I print off my bank statements etc. which I understand he will see on the form E.

How soon after saying you want a divorce do you have to complete form E? Husband is a high earner 100k for context. I’m not sure how much longer I can stay married. I lent the money in October 2023.

Thanks.

I was told by a solicitor that they look back 12 months.

Yes I know they look back 12 months. Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m really wanting to leave now but if I leave now and start divorce proceedings how quickly do I need to produce all the bank statements for form E. I lent my brother the money last October.

Are you trying to hide the fact you have a savings account in your name only? Is that the issue?

This is a clear example of why you need out ASAP. You are an adult, you are allowed to lend your own money to who you want regardless of what your husband thinks. This will not impact on your financial settlement because the court will decide that, not your husband. The problem was that you felt you had to lie, not that you actually did.

You're gonna have much bigger problems than £200 you lent your brother.

But yes, it's 12 months worth of statements

But what I want to know is if I leave now how soon do you have to supply all the info for form E? Say if I left on Monday and walked into a solicitors. I don’t understand the time frames involved in the process?

i know he’s emotionally abusive but don’t want to add fuel to the fire if i can help it.

There's no set time it's just that you agree with yours and your husbands solicitor that you are going to swop form e and one solicitor will write to the other saying "please complete form e for such and such a date" .

So you kind of choose the date and go from there.

Why does it matter that you lent your brother money, especially if he paid it straight back?

You apply for a divorce, the court sends notice to him and he has to acknowledge it. That can take anything from 2 weeks to a couple of months depending on how quick you all are (especially if you use postal rather than email 😉).

Once he has acknowledged it you have to start the actual divorce. If you are in England or Wales you have a cooling off period of 20 weeks before you can legally apply for the decree nisi (it has another name now). After 20 weeks you get your financials and children RP details sorted. It can be mediated before in the 20 weeks but the courts won't accept the paperwork until then.

That alone is 6 months waiting around until Form E needs to be exchanged (can be done before but doesn't have to be).

However lending £200 to a family member is NOT a problem. £20,000 would be but not that small amount.

EDIT - I guess the real question is why you are so worried about this, what do you think he can do or say? I can understand why if you remained with him, but you will be physically away from him, with the protection of outsiders such as a solicitor.

Because her husband is emotionally and financially abusive and would use it against her even though it is peanuts in most peopled eyes.

She is scared of him. Can't you see that?

That is why she wants out.

OP, I really don't think that it will make much difference to the way your husband behaves during the divorce. He sounds awful.

Why are you so worried that it will make him much worse?

He’s very vindictive and subtly controlling. He already uses the silent treatment to control me and adding fuel to the fire with lending my brother money without asking him will just escalate things.

I just want to make an already horrendous experience a bit easier for myself.

I feel reassured that I can stall things a bit with the form E anyway and it’ll take a while before that is due anyway so I’ll be ok. If it comes out it’s not the end of the world but would rather it didn’t come out.

I’m also worried he won’t move out after I say I want a divorce. So don’t want to inflame him further.

He doesn't have to leave the house as it is a joint asset. Either you leave or you try separating the house into his/yours. A bedroom each, a downstairs room each if possible. Rota the kitchen for meals with your own food cupboards and shelf in the fridge. Do your own laundry and cooking. Make a rota for cleaning if you think he will do it, otherwise continue as you are, knowing each day brings you closer to freedom. Are there any children?

I get you are in an abusive relationship but sometimes, once the abuser realises outsiders are aware you are waiting to leave, causes them to not continue with the abuse as they don't want witnesses iyswim.

EDIT - learn about grey rocking so the silent treatment stops working on you. Who cares what he thinks now, you will be free of him soon enough.

Yes I think he’ll want to stay in the house until it’s sold. Which I guess can’t be sold until we’re divorced. I could move into the playroom and put a bed in there. I will look up grey rocking, thankyou. We have one primary aged child child together. I’ve started seeing a counsellor to help me organise thoughts. I feel like I’m in a tangle.