My husband wanted a divorce which we are now progressing. He refuses to move out of the family home until things are finalises (which Im aware could take months!!!). Ive told him I need space and Im functioning as if Im a single parent. I won't go out of my way to cook for him now, but if dinner left over etc thats fine, but Im now focusing on me and the kids and dont want to create a 'new normal' while he is under the same roof.
He is reluctantly sleeping in our Childs bedroom as until I stood my ground as he thought it was ok to create this new normal and sleep in the marital bed. Our child is now sleeping in with me in the marital bed and he sleeps in Childs bedroom (he is very upset at me making him do this and feels we should take it in turns to sleep in Childs bedroom). Ive told him that Im trying to make the best out of a bad situation (that he drove!) and not to keep coming into my bedroom ensuite at night (he does every night) to brush teeth, go to the bathroom etc. We have two other bathrooms but he refuses as "Im doing what Ive always done" - he doesnt see that we are in a new world now and Im finding it very triggering where he is not respecting my need for space. Im trying to find some evidence that help him to understand why we cant live in a new normal and how I need us to live separately while under the same roof, including sleeping in separate rooms, eating at different times and carrying out household chores separately etc. He just doesnt understand and makes me out to be unreasonable "Getting your own way again". It's making things unbearable and I feel it's verging on emotional abuse where he isn't respecting my need for my own space and is making the whole situation more painful for me. If anyone has any advice or research that I can point him to for backing up how I feel it would be really appreciated. For reference I suspect he is autistic so emotional connection isn't something he relates to very well.