STBXH burning through joint account

[onepotattotwo]

DH and I are in weird divorce limbo. He has instigated divorce proceedings g but we are still under the same roof and haven't d told DC yet.

We have always had a joint bank account, all our earning have gone into it. I was happy to keep it that way for the time being until we had a clear plan in place but DH seems to be burning through money without a 2nd thought.

I know I could just move all my money to another account but am worried about how that would impact payment of bills/mortgaged etc..he has never shown any interest in our financial management, leaving it all up to me but it is getting worse. Today he even took a new phone contract for DD without discussing it with me.
I am really worried he is going to drag me into debt/arrears if I don't do something soon but worried about how I splitting out my money.

Is there a lot in there? I’d take half of it out, right now. Only pay in your half of the bills, to the penny.

No there's nothing in it. We live pay check to pay check and usually end up o/d because he takes no responsibility for what he spends. its only by my careful juggling we have managed to avoid major debt but its beyond a joke.

You need to separate finances. Set up a new bank account and get your money paid in there. Direct debits can be switched easily.

Also if I only pay in for half the bills what if there isn't enough left to cover that those bills?

Surely you both need new bank accounts and only put into the joint account what is needed for bills. Then you take his access away if needs be and he spends his money or overdraft. Or you close the joint account and you cover the mortgage and he covers the bills or whatever works for you.

Time to tell the kids and move proceedings along really. This will need to happen sooner or later. So this one is for sooner.

I've been trying to get him to open his own account for at least 6 months but he just won't do it. I don't know why, everything seems too much hassle for him - he doesn't even have internet banking hence one of the reasons he has no real clue what state our finances are in.

We will tell DC but DS is in middle of GCSE exams

Freeze the account by telling the bank you're separated. Do not let him have access to your salary. As for paying the bills, talk to him to come up with a plan for who pays what. If you can't agree, can you pay things on your own? If not, try to get payment holidays if you think he won't pay up. That'll buy some time to get advice on the next steps.

Sounds awful but I would report his card lost and put a block on it to force a conversation?

Another option is to open a new account and move all direct debits to that. Transfer a chunk of his contribution to that each month and leave him with £x amount in the probably joint account to spend with no ability to go overdrawn. When things start to bounce it may sink in?

speak to your bank. I went into a branch when exH started draining our joint account and they swiftly sorted it for me. they seemed very experienced at these situations!

Open a sole account with a different bank, not even in the same banking group (eg not HSBC if you're with First Direct) so you cannot be linked by the bank.
Get your wages and benefits paid into the new bank account.
Tell the bank where you have the joint account to freeze the account.

Personally, I would open two sole accounts for yourself. One for direct debits and one for all your other personal spend. Transfer the essential direct debits to the direct debit account and freeze or close the joint account and Ask him to sort out an account for himself. Ask your partner to transfer a fixed amount to the direct debit account each month for his share. If he asks to see how much the direct debits are, you can show him the statement knowing all he sees are those (any other personal spend is from the other sole account). If he signed the phone contract for DD, he needs to pay tha from his own account ... The phone company will be chasing him for any non payment, not you as the contract is signed by him.
Him not having on line bank access is his problem. He will need to wake up soon when you are no longer there to deal with all his money issues.

Thank you all for your suggestions.

Thankfully I already have a separate account with an unrelated bank which I have started getting my salary paid into (transferring my share for billls to the joint account t).

It makes me feel sick every time I log into the joint account watching it become increasingly o/d due to his lack of money management.

I like the idea of setting up another account for DD's but would I need his permission to switch them? Also that still leaves the joint account o/d and what happens there?

Sounds awful but I would report his card lost and put a block on it to force a conversation?

How can you report someone else’s card lost or stolen?

You can phone up and get the overdraft amount reduced and then when it is cleared get the bank to remove the overdraft facility. So if you’re overdrawn to £900 and there’s a few thousand overdraft available get it reduced to £1000 asap.

Thank you. What happens if he tries to go beyind that limit? Is the transaction declined or would the account be hit with massive unauthorised o/d charges?

As I said op, speak to the bank. They sorted it all for me

Freeze the account by telling the bank you're separated.

Friend did that, and no new direct debits or standing orders could be added afterwards

Ask for transactions to be declined over the agreed limits.
The bank will have definitely had this situation many times before

If it’s a joint account he will need to agree to any changes surely ?

Definitely speak to the bank and then tell him it’s frozen now. No more joint anything. Show him the bills he’s liable for and tell him what he needs to pay.

Not being good at banking is his problem and he needs to grow up.

Maybe put the bills in your name and get the money from him and close the joint account asap.