What is a reasonable amount?

[Purplerose14]

My STBXH filed for a divorce in mid April along with FCO then a letter from his solicitor informing me to complete a E Form in the next 4 weeks. There was no conversation about a divorce maybe separation but he refuse to leave. He spent the last year and half living like a lodger in the family home, not communicating with me or the boys (12/ 21). When he did, it was not really pleasant.

Married for 13yrs, he moved into my house which I had 10 years prior and put 50k deposit down.
He was in and out of work, then became self employed which I help out and funded. but now he is in full time employment for the last 2 year.

Im a freelancer and always have been, at the same time I'm the main person paying all the bills, childcare etc.. always have. I ask him to contribute towards the bills and he has refuse too, saying i have money you pay for it. while he keeps all his money. which this not fair!!

My assets are the family home and a rental house (which I inherited before marriage) both have mortages.
No real savings
a very small pension maybe 6k (only had for a couple years back in late 90s and stop).
My income 38-42k depending.

He has no assets. Not paying any bills and never really did. It feels like he is gold digger, He wants to take me to court and he is not willing to mediate. I didn't know how much he earns.

I don't believe he should get 50:50 at all!!!

The cost of solicitors are crazy!

Please can you give me some advice/thoughts on how to deals with this. I am pulling my hair out with frustration.

He does have assets - the houses are joint marital assets regardless that you contributed financially more!

you’ll need to add up all assets and liabilities
then look to housing needs - the 21 yo won’t be factored.

so assuming you’ll both have your 12 yo that’s a 2 bed ( realise you also want to house your 21 yo but in asset splitting that’s not counted). Can thus be achieved with equity and selling the rental and splitting 50:50?

what mortgage can you get? What can he? If his is lower he’ll have a case for more capital potentially.

youll need to do financial disclosure (firm e)and he’ll need to declare his income as well

its a long marriage and a court would look to a near 50:50 outcome only deviating for specific factors. ( eg if minor children cannot be housed )

you need to reframe your thinking in that he doesn’t have assets. They are joint

Agree with PP; they’re not ‘your assets’ as you were married.

See a solicitor asap.

Which country are you in @Purplerose14 as, if Scotland, I think you can exclude pre marital assets.

If he's not paid towards bills, did he have a nice savings account somewhere? What do you know of his bank accounts?

You are allowed to inherit separately. You may not have to share the rental home.

However you will the main home. It will be based on need to house you and him.

You need as much evidence as possible.

The issue here will be how the inherited property was used. If it was used as a business that supported the family then it can be argued it was a marital asset. Has it been sold and the money deposited then it never formed part of the marital wealth.

Even if ring fenced it means the OP’s needs are less. She has more capital and an income stream.

OP you need to do some research about your situation. You will waste time and money if you approach your divorce through the kens of what you think is fair and reasonable. That doesn’t matter legally. You need to be briefing your solicitor with relevant information and asking them to achieve things that are achievable. What you want and what you think are fair don’t come into the equation. It’s also not worth regaling the solicitor with how awful he was as a husband. Your divorce will be no blame.

Thanks guys! It's all just overwhelming at the thought of it all. Now trying find a solicitor. Can anyone recommend one?