Expected to financially support ex with MH problems?

[WhereTheBubbles]

H had poor mental health but its got a lot worse since we discussed splitting. We are still living together but he spends time away a lot. We are at the start of the process.

I think he is going to get sacked from his job as he's saying he's too anxious to go in. He hasn't got a diagnosis but is in talking Therapies. They've recommended anti depressants but he's not followed up

If he loses his job - will I be expected to financially support him? I earn quite well (70k) but not enough to pay for 2 x homes and provide him with financial support.

Sorry that this has happened OP. I can understand your concern. I'm cautious about posting too much of my situation in case I out myself.

From my experience so far I'd say that there is a possibility that you could be expected to help support H. This would depend on a number of factors and he would need to prove that he is unable to earn enough to support himself. That type of proof is tricky to provide and in your case I'd hope that unless it's a genuine, significant and ongoing problem your H wouldn't be able to give adequate proof. Also anxiety or depression bought on by the divorce isn't the type of thing generally considered to warrant this type of thing in the same way that a chronic illness might. That's not to minimise the disabling effect of anxiety or depression.....

IMO if you find you are looking at being made to support him going forward after the divorce you might consider spousal maintenance a sensible approach as opposed to a capital sum. The length of time for SM would be up for debate but you would be able to make a case for reducing or ending the support early if it becomes apparent that EXH is suddenly better able to earn more money.

In addition bear in mind that your support would be at a level to cover his basic needs- not everything his heart desires. So it's likely that he would be motivated to increase his earnings as much as he can and as soon as he can.

Finally a court would consider the needs of any DC first before looking to EXHs needs- so if there isn't enough in the "pot" to cover everyone then he is at the back of the queue.

Thanks so much for advice. No diagnosis yet but his anxiety is really bad and it stops him doing stuff. It is getting worse and because he isn't talking to his boss openly, I can him losing his job and spiralling

If he is deemed too unwell to work - then surely he is too unwell to have our kifs (2 and 4) 50% of the time too? I can see a situation where he's got the kids 50% of the time, getting financial support off me, and not working at all. And that just does not seem fair.

I doubt you will be expected to support him because he will be eligible for a lot of benefits if he is genuinely unable to work. These benefits would be lost pound for pound against anything you pay him.

Courts also tend to be suspicious when people suddenly cannot work during proceedings so the evidence needs to be convincing.

You won't have to pay spousal support no, that's just for high earners, if at all.

Imo you need to start keeping records of who does what for the dc... Like you say if he is too ill to manage himself how can he have the dc when he moves out?