What is a reasonable financial settlement.

[Thefutureismyaim]

can anybody give me an idea of what might be seen as a fair split. I know what I want but not sure if what I want will be seen as fair in the court.
I am sole carer for the children. House is adapted as one of the children has very significant disabilities.
house equity is around £270k with small mortgage which I can afford to pay on my own if allowed to take it over by mortgage company. Initial
checks show that I would be allowed to do this with a specialist mortgage for carers and people
on certain benefits.
I have zero savings and £10k in pension due to looking after the children and not working to support ex in their career.
ex has £200k in pensions and £60k in cash savings.
pensions can be accessed from age 55 which he is older than that so he could take the 25% maximum lump sum to help with his housing needs.
children are under 18 and it has been a long marriage.
Would it be unreasonable for me to ask for the house and all the equity if he keeps pensions and savings? Would a mesher order be a better option? The child with significant needs is going to need care beyond the age of 18 so I’m not sure a mesher would help. Not sure what I can reasonably expect from the court.

Its really difficult to say but just reading your message will OH be doing no parenting at all?

Remember if he is paying CMS then you should be able to add this into your income for mortgage payments.

I guess a court will want to understand what the cost to bring a cheaper house up to specification for your child will be.

Has OH suggested yet what he thinks is fair?

Well the starting point is 50/50 - so £135,000 each if the house is sold (less fees), £5,000 each from your pension, £100,000 each from his pension and £30,000 each from savings. Plus monthly maintenance for the children.

So you could each walk away with around £270,000. OR as you have suggested, you keep the house, and he keeps his pension and savings.

As you have a child with additional needs to which you are the primary carer, and you have been unable to amass the wealth of your STBXH due to caring responsibilities, you have some arguments there to move away from the 50/50 starting point, and possibly ask for some of the savings/pension too.

I suppose it depends on whether you want to just get it done on ok terms, or if you want to fight for all you can get!

Given what you've said about the house being adapted for your child's needs, I don't think a mesher order would work. The child's best interests are always a primary consideration.

We are already not on good terms. It’s gotten very ugly very quickly because ex thinks I should be entitled to nothing.
he does do some parenting - a couple of afternoons each week after school for our children that don’t have significant disabilities. He has our disabled child one afternoon a month on his own as he can’t manage all of the kids together.
he isn’t paying CMS as he gave up his job shortly after I applied for divorce (to avoid maintenance and to make himself look destitute to the court) and is now working on a cash in hand basis and claiming he has zero income. He does buy the kids a happy meal or BK meal on the afternoons he has them 🙄