Please please help

[thirtyseven37]

Husband has told me he's started the application for a divorce (I knew this was on the cards and we'd agreed to separate).

He says he's completing it as joint applicants. I haven't even seen the form.

We haven't sorted anything financial or child related yet.

He wants it all to split 50:50 but I know this won't be fair as I will need bigger percentage to offset my low salary and be primary carer.

Please help. Do I need to see the joint application form? Should he apply as a sole applicant? Why is he pushing ahead with the on-line divorce form before we've arranged finances?

Let him apply, you need to speak to a solicitor

If he applies as joint he will submit it and then you will be emailed a link. It will only be when you also submit that it will go back to him to process the final submission. Or at least that is my recollection.

Split will be based on needs. However, needs are assessed based on what each party can earn, not what they do earn. It will be very case specific.

I think the divorce has to have started before the Court can approve any financial order.

Yes and it needs to be applied for separately. The first step is to get the joint application in, after which there is a 20 week waiting period.

The online divorce application and finances are two separate things - i filed for divorce online, then soon-to-be-ex and I completed our Form E (full financial disclosure) and are now at the wrangling stage - he's not playing fair. He was initially adamant we could sort it our between ourselves, but now I've seen what he considers a 'fair' settlement, I'm glad I'm using a solicitor.

Each situation will be different. If you feel your H is trying to steam roller you into something that might not be in your best interests, do seek legal advice. 50/50 isn't always fair for both parties as there can be a lot to take into account, especially if there are children involved. Your ages, savings, work and ability to work, pensions, child residency etc will all need to be weighed up.

Thank you. I'm just so worried. I'm also scared that he'll get cross when I say I want more than 50:50

Then don’t say it. Anything you or he thinks is a fair split is pure speculation. You need to first of all work out what assets you have. Then you need to look at your respective income and outgoings. Income needs to be maximised and outgoings minimised. Incomes are net and need to take account of benefits and child support.

your biggest outgoing will be housing. Both of you need comparable homes either to rent or buy. The needs adjustment will be based on this.

There may be some debate and back and forth over income and outgoings but you will end up with figures that set out your respective finances. Let someone else tell him what that means. Preferably a solicitor.

At the moment you both have expectations in your head. Both of you could be way of the mark when the financial information is laid bare.

Do you know what the assets available for split are? That’s the first step and saying you want more than 50% is meaningless if you don’t ( and might be meaningless if you do even)

youll both be expected to give full financial disclosure and then assessment will begin

seek legal advice and mediation to advise you

He can’t do a joint application without your consent. Don’t agree it, so he will have to do as sole applicant. That means he will have to pay the various fees and also be responsible for producing the ‘bundle’ if it goes to court (you can worry about what this means later - but basically, it’s more expensive to be the applicant, but doesn’t put you at any disadvantage, so let him do it).