Managing emotions/upset and stress

[wildlingtribe]

How do you manage your emotions/stress and upset (and resentment) during this time? Trying to regulate yourselves when you have children is hard. Sometimes I manage well, but you know those times when it's all incessantly non stop. Stress. Then the toxicity...
then your children's emotions to help them navigate through! All the while - having no support around me and the co-parent does.

It's one of those situations where you somehow survive going through it, look back and wondered how you did it! But you will get through and come out ok. MN is a great place to vent, whether it's light hearted (although you must state this at the beginning, lol) or want a serious rant.

Don't know how old your kids are but I told mine what was going on. It's ok to say that Mum and Dad had an argument/fell out/annoyed at each other and ask for a hug to cheer you up. They pick things up anyway, so better to be open, in my opinion.

My 13 year old has essentially disowned me (selectively). So there are times where she will be minimally warm/ appreciative and approachable but a lot of times she displays ignorance, disgraceful name calling, and false accusations. Must add that she has been with her father and grandmother for an over 6 months now. And wow. The changes are undeniably heartbreaking, confusing and worrisome.

How do I navigate this situation as it's not just a disrespectful teen, it's a teen who is one of multiple children who she has 'chosen' to separate herself from and her mother.

I know alienation is thrown around a lot but without going into too much context, I have spoken with a mediator who feels that this is also apparent.

But in the day to day. I want her to know I am always here for her. I hope that she remembers the truth, (which she knew and lived and believed up until last summer when she was influenced a lot and spoilt rotten by them)

I want her to know that it's unacceptable to cross respect without her feeling like I'm being "everything they say I am"

The names I've been called match ones from them - word for word.

I've tried to express this to him but he says it's all me

How do I navigate this when it seems like she doesn't want anything to do with me? I want her to know I love her unconditionally and I'm always here. But when I said this - she accused me of being bipolar.

These are the words of her father and his mother previously.

How do I navigate my own self worth when it's constant rejection from my child who I adore and i miss so much. She has changed beyond belief.

How much of it is teen/ the hard separation/ the things they have lied about to her? It's all so hard to distinguish.

Bump

I've been advised and also read into parental alienation (from both father and mother in law ) and I try to keep neutral without enabling her even more, I try to set boundaries (to not be spoken to like crap) but she is so taken in by them. The level of dishonesty, disrespect and disregard is hurtful. I never wanted there to be sides. But she has really really dumped a heap of ahit in my face. Turned her back on me and my whole family and circle. It's so bizarre.

I've also now found out that my it feeling was right and he's seeing one of my "friends".

My daughter would know too.

Neither one have said to me, he got caught.

Honestly crushed.