Wonder if anyone can give me some advice. My husband cheated on me with a work colleague. Discovered the affair last November after years of asking him and him denying it!
He left in October last year due to ongoing arguements about his family.
I got on with my life and stupidly dated this lovely guy for a few months. Met him on Tinder and went on some lovely dates and places.
By January my husband came to me and told me he could see how happy I was and he wanted to be the one to make me happy. Saw the error of his ways and how toxic his family were. He had seen pictures of me on Facebook. February I allowed him to move back in for the children and I thought maybe it would work. He started therapy and was all lovey dovey at valentines.
March he decided I had not changed. I also had an argument with my middle child (17) daddies girl, in the Feb. She was telling me I was never there for her when I was dating. Yet her dad was spending so much time with his affair partner!! I was accused of other stuff as well. He left his journal laying around and i read it! (Not proud) it confirmed that he was still in contact with his affair partner and had told middle daughter that happiness was with his partner! Also a load of other stuff!
I moved out for 2 weeks with my youngest and within 4 days he had put plans in place to sell the house and told me I could not come home until I resolved my issues with middle child. The whole time he was telling her all sorts about his partner! Making it all ok in her eyes.
April I moved back home and we are now living under the same roof until house is sold and it’s hell. He spends some nights at his partners flat (she’s left her husband and the family home, her husband also cheated). He has an obsession with finances as he has always paid all the bills while my salary was living allowance for us both and for food etc. my wages were paid into a joint account and I never use to see sight of his account. He is constantly on at me about what I can pay towards the house, yet I am paying for food for the house mainly me and the children. Activities for the children, and bills like credit cards and internet. The amount he wants me to pay leaves me with very little to myself.
Now he has been buying himself new clothes, going out and drink.
And now he is going on holiday with her next month for his mental well being!!! Paying for it on a credit card!! Staying at her friends place in Greece!
He is portraying this to middle and eldest as this is for his mental health and that staying with her he is out of my hair. He is also telling them that he’s been invited to wedding receptions with her and acting as it’s all ok!! The baffling part his he also offered that they could both go and stay at this place on their own if they wanted to!!
I’m struggling massively with this, it’s hurting.
Is this normal?? Is this right of him to be behaving like this? I’ve been told by a professional that he is delusional.
I do not want my children thinking an affair is ok yet he is telling them how happy and wonderful his life is.
He’s told me I have abused him mentally, made him anxious, coerced him. Threatened him with my apparent knowledge of legal stuff.
It hurts me that my middle daughter is semi ok with this as he’s filled her head with it being ok! My eldest is not impressed.
My youngest is too young to understand. Please help and thank you for reading