Husband’s parent is divorce lawyer - advice

[Bettercallsaul2024]

Hi
I’m finally at the stage where I’m starting to think through logistics of a divorce. He has significantly more money than me as I’ve taken career break to look after young kids and support his intense workload.
The thing I’m seeking advice on is that his dad is a family solicitor , mostly working with divorcing couples. His family have never liked me and I’m confident that I would be totally screwed over in a divorce - financially etc.
i know I can’t stop his dad giving him informal advice on how to go about things but is it worth seeking free legal advice from my FIL’s small firm (a different solicitor)? So that there’s a conflict of interest in that I sought advice and FIL can’t formally work on our case ? Or is it already conflict of interest just having that family relationship? Or have I been watching too much American TV and that’s not how it all works

thanks if you got this far . At the very early stages of researching legal stuff

Why would you approach that company ? when there are thousands of solicitors in the country ?

as for ' our ' case, is it ? is it not 2 separate people with 2 separate solicitors against each other.

it's not a joint application for planning permission for something, it is 2 people ' against ' each other.

and yes if he gets free advice from his father then that is up to them.

Don't bother going to that practice

I suspect your ex is going to try to tie you up on knots for years with his free legal advice in the hope that you will run out of money.

On that basis I would self rep and go straight to court as soon as legally allowed so that the judge can decide on the split. The judge will be fair, your ex won't.

This!

Don't approach the company run by FIL. They will likely refuse you as a conflict of interest and you'll have show your hand prematurely letting them get an advantage if they are that way inclined.

It would be professionally unethical for your FiL firm to accept you as a client. A good firm would refuse to even consider you as a client due to the conflict of interests.
I would not go to them, seek independent advice. If you can afford it see if you can locate a similar ranked or better solicitor's firm. Try the legal500 to find out if your FiL firm is listed in the top companies for family law. That way you will have a shrewd idea of what you could be up against.

I am sorry to agree with what you already think but a male friend divorced his wife who was a divorce solicitor and it cost him an enormous amount to get anything achieved. He found the best firm he could who didn’t have friends/ ties to his wife’s firm which was hard as he found the contacts were everywhere.
Hope you can get some good representation.

Yes conflict checks will apply firm wide, it’s not just each individual solicitor. So they probably wouldn’t even take you on as a client and as a pp said you’d have shown your hand early for nothing.

I agree that you should be cautious about trying to “out gun” him legally, could cost you a fortune. Either self represent or hire a lawyer but set a very strict limit on fee spend, don’t let them undertake work without an estimate and your approval. May be more cost effective to hire a family barrister (non QC) directly without going through a solicitor. Suggest mediation often, make reasonable offers - if he refuses and strings things out legally instead it will really not look good in court.

And before doing anything openly or legally - gather as much information as you can about finances etc. Because it won’t be forthcoming once things start.

Are you really sure that your father-in-law will try to screw you over? Isn't he more interested in ensuring that his son and your family as a whole have as minimally as messy a divorce as possible. If this is his job, he won't want his family, even those he doesn't like, to have to go through the stress, upset and waste of money that going through lawyers entails. And I say this as a professional working in this field.

He could be a useful source of advice for you both for free. If you can be amicable with your husband over the divorce and the financial arrangements, his father might be able to help you both reach an agreement. The English / Welsh rules are quite simple for most people and his reputation will be on the line:
(a) compute the value of the assets (including pensions) generated by the marriage and any pre-marital seamless cohabitation and add in the family home, no matter who contributed what to that (assuming the marriage is over 6 years or so and the house is not held by a formal trust or some other structure) - you do this by providing each other with all your financial details of what you each have - bank accounts, credit card debts, savings, investments, and property interests, and pension cash equivalent values;
(b) divide by two, add mortgage capacities of each party, and adjust the assets together with exercise of mortgage capacity to meet needs of each party;
(c) invade non-matrimonial property (pre- or post- marriage acquired, inheritance or gift) onlt to meet need.
(d) spousal maintenance to allow the financially weaker party some time to become financially independent, if necessary.
(c) child maintenance in accordance with CMS formula (generally).

Once you have a proposed arrangement between you go and see a one couple / one lawyer service, or otherwise you take some independent legal advice then to see if the proposal you have reached is reasonable. If it is, then you can submit your statement of those arrangements to the court for approval of an order to settle everything.

In short, if you can, use the assets that you have by way of your father-in-law's knowledge and save tens of thousands of pounds.

If his father won't help you both out, then encourage your ex husband to use him as his advice source. It will be cheaper overall, assuming his father won't charge his son for it, and there'll be more to divide between you.