Financial settlement

ChicSwan · 2024-04-27T06:53:04+00:00

My divorce proceeding have been going on a long time. My ex is insisting on 50/50 split of the house which I have loved in with the children since split and he wants a share of my pension. When we split I worked part time and had universal credit and he earned 85k a year to my 18k. He stopped mediation when he found out I was getting it free and he had to pay. I got a full time job as I knew I wouldn’t be able to house the children and he was insisting then on 50/50 split too. I now earn 52k and have child maintenance of £630 a month which pays for all childcare, clubs, trips, everything-that’s every penny he gives. He earns now 89k and has a company car etc. Before we had children I was an assistant head in a school and earned more than him but I stopped working and he carried on for 10 years. It will take me a while to get back to that position. He is still insisting on 50/50 split and my pension and no less. If I could give it to him I would but it’s going to court as I can only get a mortgage for 220k on that wage and there are no houses in my area where the kids go to school. He can get a mortgage for minimum of £385k on his earnings. Has anyone got any experience of this going to court and getting more than 50/50 split. It’s going to cost a fortune in legal fees and years but my ex won’t agree to the 38% I have offered which is the max I can absolutely do and be mortgaged to the limit. Should I cut my losses and move in with parents for a while? He wants my pension which is annoying as I build that up in my 20s before we met trying to be sensible and pay in extra so it’s worth more than his but that doesn’t bother me as much as kids will be grown up then and I will survive. Thanks in advance.

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 08:25

does he have the children 50:50 or is there some other arrangement? You mention he wanted that but not clear if it’s in place

it will be a needs case
yiu both have the same housing needs ( to accommodate yourselves plus children)
he can get bit higher mortgage so you might get slightly higher share of equity

but your pension ( and his) will be considered in the overall split so this needs to be factored in

38% equity seems on low side- but you might be able to offer pension to him as an offset . Is it a teachers pension ? If so that will need valuing and could be very valuable and will absolutely be considered in the split

id try to avoid court if you can as ut is a fairly simply case. Appreciate if he won’t negotiate you might be left with little option but could prove costly

Soontobe60 · 27/04/2024 08:33

Just a word of warning - the TPS is taking a long time to process requests for pensions in financial settlements - you need to apply now for the figures. Your FO can’t be signed off until you have that info.
What about your ex’s pension?

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 09:02

Soontobe60 · 27/04/2024 08:33

Just a word of warning - the TPS is taking a long time to process requests for pensions in financial settlements - you need to apply now for the figures. Your FO can’t be signed off until you have that info.
What about your ex’s pension?

I know. I requested last April and government had it on a block. Managed to get it in June but requested an updated one and government have it blocked again. Don’t know why they keep blocking it. Feels a bit 1984!!

OP posts:

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 09:03

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 09:02

I know. I requested last April and government had it on a block. Managed to get it in June but requested an updated one and government have it blocked again. Don’t know why they keep blocking it. Feels a bit 1984!!

Show quote history

his Is worth 95k and mine 125k but only 42k if that has been added since we got married. The rest I put in before.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 09:04

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 08:25

does he have the children 50:50 or is there some other arrangement? You mention he wanted that but not clear if it’s in place

it will be a needs case
yiu both have the same housing needs ( to accommodate yourselves plus children)
he can get bit higher mortgage so you might get slightly higher share of equity

but your pension ( and his) will be considered in the overall split so this needs to be factored in

38% equity seems on low side- but you might be able to offer pension to him as an offset . Is it a teachers pension ? If so that will need valuing and could be very valuable and will absolutely be considered in the split

id try to avoid court if you can as ut is a fairly simply case. Appreciate if he won’t negotiate you might be left with little option but could prove costly

He has then 5 nights a fortnight

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 10:37

It’s irrelevant that only 42k put in since marriage

im sure fee argue that he’s paid more if mortgage etc.

either way your teachers pension may be worth a lot more than his if his is defined contribution ( std private employer type ) hence they need proper assessment

the cns seems a bit high if he’s having them 5/14…. Is that per calculator? ( not saying he shouldn’t pay it just wondering !)

so
housing needs same
he can raise higher mortgage but currently also pays cms - he might argue to up 2 nights to stop it.
you need to split pensions - if you want more equity you’ll need to offset more pension

LemonTT · 27/04/2024 12:23

I expect a judge would be minded to tell you both to forget about pensions. Your respective solicitors should too.

His position would appear to be a negotiating one - to press you on pensions, legal fees and time to get a better deal. You need to work out if it work compromising on.

Just based on your post I am not sure what your case for 62% of the equity is. Despite the howls of indignation you get on here, buying a property isn’t a need. He just needs to show you can afford to rent.

The headline salary differentials sound big but it’s take home income (not just limited to salary) that is used for mortgage affordability. This might not look as favourable by the time adjustments are made for tax and other things. You need to look critically at what this is saying and what level of mortgage he can afford. Added to which his age and CMS commitments will push that down. Salary multiples aren’t a reliable guide and are not used by lenders anymore.

Pension assessment is taking a long time because the government is cutting resources to public services and has messed up public sector pension reform. All public sector pensions need to be revised and this is being done in phases. The many many people retiring are taking priority.

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 13:26

LemonTT · 27/04/2024 12:23

I expect a judge would be minded to tell you both to forget about pensions. Your respective solicitors should too.

His position would appear to be a negotiating one - to press you on pensions, legal fees and time to get a better deal. You need to work out if it work compromising on.

Just based on your post I am not sure what your case for 62% of the equity is. Despite the howls of indignation you get on here, buying a property isn’t a need. He just needs to show you can afford to rent.

The headline salary differentials sound big but it’s take home income (not just limited to salary) that is used for mortgage affordability. This might not look as favourable by the time adjustments are made for tax and other things. You need to look critically at what this is saying and what level of mortgage he can afford. Added to which his age and CMS commitments will push that down. Salary multiples aren’t a reliable guide and are not used by lenders anymore.

Pension assessment is taking a long time because the government is cutting resources to public services and has messed up public sector pension reform. All public sector pensions need to be revised and this is being done in phases. The many many people retiring are taking priority.

Thank you. This is really helpful. His take home is 4800 a month after tax and mine 3200. He pays his child maintenance but over half of that goes into childcare so not huge impact on my mortgage affordability with lenders on balance. My argument in court will be a need to by him out the house and that is all I can offer. No properties in town to rent or buy within my budget and hasn’t been for over a year I have been looking. Both children go to school here. May have to try to negotiate a percentage ow and a percentage later when girls leave education perhaps. Really don’t want to have them move schools.

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 13:29

But if he pays you 600 a month then your income is 3800 vs his 4200

as pp you need to leverage and negotiate your pension if you want him to accept the equity you’re offering

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 13:32

LemonTT · 27/04/2024 12:23

I expect a judge would be minded to tell you both to forget about pensions. Your respective solicitors should too.

His position would appear to be a negotiating one - to press you on pensions, legal fees and time to get a better deal. You need to work out if it work compromising on.

Just based on your post I am not sure what your case for 62% of the equity is. Despite the howls of indignation you get on here, buying a property isn’t a need. He just needs to show you can afford to rent.

The headline salary differentials sound big but it’s take home income (not just limited to salary) that is used for mortgage affordability. This might not look as favourable by the time adjustments are made for tax and other things. You need to look critically at what this is saying and what level of mortgage he can afford. Added to which his age and CMS commitments will push that down. Salary multiples aren’t a reliable guide and are not used by lenders anymore.

Pension assessment is taking a long time because the government is cutting resources to public services and has messed up public sector pension reform. All public sector pensions need to be revised and this is being done in phases. The many many people retiring are taking priority.

Essentially that will give him a payout of £78k to add to his mortgage potential of up to 385k. It’ll mean my mortgage will be £350k which is the absolute limit of my affordability. Mortgage payments for me will be 12000 a month and for him 1400 a month and he has been paying that in rent for 18 months anyway. There is nothing to rent in my town at all. He lives 30 minutes away in his rented home.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 13:43

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 13:29

But if he pays you 600 a month then your income is 3800 vs his 4200

as pp you need to leverage and negotiate your pension if you want him to accept the equity you’re offering

I think because once he is left with his 4200 he has paid out everything for girls other than food when with them. My income pays for their childcare full time, hobbies and clubs, school dinners and trips, clothes etc so his committed outgoings are bigger than mine. I have the car debt and travel costs too as work pays for all his and company car. I am hoping they take that into account. I am hoping they might take into account the 15k of our savings he took when he left leaving me with no money too but I can’t prove that as those savings were all in his account I had no access to.

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 13:52

I get that
but think you need to try to understand that negotiating is most likely preferable to renting in a court outcone

a court may grant you the % of equity you want. It equally might not and simply award more towards 50:50

equally your ex might aim for 7 nights in 14 in which case your maintenance would be nothing

and cost to get to court could run into thousands

hence if it were me I’d try to negotiate and use pension as leverage

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 13:58

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 13:52

I get that
but think you need to try to understand that negotiating is most likely preferable to renting in a court outcone

a court may grant you the % of equity you want. It equally might not and simply award more towards 50:50

equally your ex might aim for 7 nights in 14 in which case your maintenance would be nothing

and cost to get to court could run into thousands

hence if it were me I’d try to negotiate and use pension as leverage

He won’t negotiate unfortunately. For him it’s 50/50 and half my pension or court. His parents are giving him the money for court so have to decide to go to court and hope for best or cut losses and move in with parents.

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 14:06

Do you have a solicitor?
if so what are they advising?
I completely get what you’re saying but court can literally go either way so it’s always a risk unless it’s so far imbalanced .

with 50% of equity and pensions equalised a judge may well order that ( they don’t deem purchasing necessary to tuck the adequately housed box)
equally a more sympathetic judge might award in your favour

have you completed form e yet ?

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 14:10

millymollymoomoo · 27/04/2024 14:06

Do you have a solicitor?
if so what are they advising?
I completely get what you’re saying but court can literally go either way so it’s always a risk unless it’s so far imbalanced .

with 50% of equity and pensions equalised a judge may well order that ( they don’t deem purchasing necessary to tuck the adequately housed box)
equally a more sympathetic judge might award in your favour

have you completed form e yet ?

Yes, form E is done. His is full of misleading info though so court has been delayed 6 weeks for him to tidy it up. Solicitor thinks he is being unreasonable but I am aware they are paid to agree with me and a bit cynical

OP posts:

Original poster

ChicSwan · 27/04/2024 14:12

Moral of the story ladies is don’t give up your career when you have children 😂😭🤦‍♀️

OP posts: