Hello. I am 3.5yrs into a separation and have been trying to get divorced for over 2 years. We are both 46 and have 3 DC; 11,14&15. I live in the family home and my ex has a place (3 bed so meets his needs). I have around 350 equity and he has around 110 (although he is currently challenging the court ordered valuations) . My pension is worth maybe 100k more although I also have part of it that is final salary so his solicitor wants a pension sharing order. I have taken out two loans and used any savings I had (circa 30k+) We have delayed the FDR due to not having the valuations at the time and a potential need for pension sharing. His parents are financially behind him so he has no motivation to sort but I can’t justify borrowing more money….i still need to pay it back. I am thinking my only way out is to stand my solicitors down and go forward alone. He seems like a man on a mission to destroy me….does not recognise mine or the children’s needs and I feel just wants to ‘beat’ me. He has the kids every other weekend. Used to have them every other Thursday too but that stopped. I earn more than him although he dropped his hours during the divorce for depression reasons. He earns around 50k and I 70k. Key questions are, what is a fair outcome? could I offer him pension in exchange for keeping the family home? What is a judge likely to decide? That I sell the home? And big one, if I stop solicitors and move forward alone will I get torn apart by his solicitor, are there any gotchas, how will the court view it?
Does anyone have any words of wisdom please xx
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