Dd staying with me

[Beetlewings]

Split with ex last year, 2 DC (ds13 and dd11) are fine, current situation is alternate weeks with each parent.
Dd has been delaying going to her dads for a while now, finally admitting that she would like to stop the alternate week arrangement, stay with me full time and "just visit dad sometimes".
I'm happy for her to do this, (ex is ambivalent). although the extra costs will be higher, is it reasonable to expect a maintenance payment from her dad to cover the extra time she is here? Her brother is happy to continue with the current routine. In effect I'll have one dc 100% of the time and one 50/50, has anyone been in this situation? how did it work out?

She is 11. You should make her go to her dads more than just ‘sometimes’. I get 50/50 is too disruptive to her, but just sometimes is unfair on her dad.

What about being unfair on her? OP said dad is ambivalent so why should OP force more time if DD doesn't want to?

My H can be a right grumpy arse at home and my kids want to spend more time with me. He complains. But it's natural consequences.

OP yes I think ex should pay more support.

I think she's old enough to decide really, I wouldn't force the issue. Not sure you can force him to pay extra though.

You need to get a response from him that is more than ambivalent. What does all this mean for the four of you financially and emotionally. There is an impact not just in father daughter relationship which is important but also on the sibling relationship.

Is there a stronger father son bond and what does that mean for her wellbeing. Are you an honest broker in this or is this something you would prefer?

Whatever the problem is this isn’t a great solution and might not be the only solution.