Co parenting struggle.

[WintersB]

Hi all.
Currently 29 weeks and unfortunately already running into issues. I’ll try and cut the story short but me and my ex aren’t together, we broke up at around 3 months pregnant. He’s pretty dismissive and rude towards me, I’ve not seen him, I’ve been left to buy everything for baby on my own and had no emotional support even though he decided he wanted the baby.
He popped up and asked how I was, general chat about baby and was questioning me about why he can’t have the baby overnight when he’s newborn.. am I being unreasonable? He’s not once invited me to stay as the baby will be dependant on me as I’ll be breastfeeding, he said I can just pump and send the milk with him.. when he’s newborn? I’m honestly shocked how he thinks he can be so absent and then expect me to hand over my baby when he’s freshly new. I don’t know how to go about this

I’m sure someone more knowledgeable than me will be along soon but I’m pretty sure that social services/health visitors or similar don’t advise a baby being away overnight from its mum until it’s at least 1 year if not more? It’s not just to do with feeding either, I think it’s related to bonding? So I’m pretty sure you can say no and speak to your midwife for support and more information.

Send him information about the 4th trimester.

Also explain that he will be welcome to visit frequently for short amounts of time to build up how long you and baby can be apart for.

Also point out that as single parent you won't have the time needed to pump milk.

You need to get decent legal advice here, but I wouldn't engage with him until the baby is here if he's making demands like this and stressing you out. No judge would rip a newborn baby away from a breastfeeding mother so don't even give that headspace.

But at some point you are going to have to share your child, so that's why it's best to get a good solicitor on your side now.