I don't understand how to use my solicitor

[ConfrontationDoesntHaveToBeScarey]

I've got a solicitor, at first I wanted them to be in contact with my ex (who I still live with) to sort out the finances but now I've told them I'll get the financial disclosure done with him and just use the solicitor for advice on how to split it.

I just don't really understand the process. I don't know what form I should be using for the financial disclosure. I don't know how to ask questions to the solicitor. Will I be billed for all the contact I have with the solicitor or is it just if they were contacting my ex.

I feel like an inadequate idiot. But surely it can't be assumed that I know all this stuff.

I'm too stressed and overwhelmed to give it the time to look up every single bit. I want the solicitor to do it for me.

Any advise or guidance is appreciated.

It’s not assumed that you know it all OP so don’t worry, you can & should ask your solicitor to help you with all of those things, but be aware that you will be charged for that advice (which is why lots of people try and work it out themselves to keep costs down).

Thanks.

I emailed the solicitor to ask her what form I need to be filling out on Monday and I haven't got a reply yet.

I feel like I'm just going to stew over it until then. Ex has his consultation with a solicitor today which is making me feel worse.

I've already paid my solicitor a deposit and I sort of regret that now. As I just want to split the finances between us and crack on with moving out.

I feel sick to my stomach about using a solicitor to spilt the finances but that's only because I know they will advise me on getting more money than my ex would initially agree too.

I know that I need to persevere with this for the sake of my kids but I don't want to. Ugh.

Your solicitor will charge you for every interaction they have with you, your ex, or time spent working on documents, in 6 minute increments. So if their hourly rate is £300 and you send them one email, that's 6 minutes (1 unit) so £30. You phone them and speak for 8 minutes, that's 2 units so £60. Don't forget the VAT on top.

So best thing is to do as much as you can on disclosure yourself and then speak to your solicitor about any concerns you may have about ex not disclosing everything, and they can then draft a letter to other side raising those issues. They'll also advise you on what you can expect in terms of division of capital.

I'm not overly concerned about the cost on my side as my mum is paying. What I am bothered about is my stress levels. I have a high stress job, two kids to look after and the house I don't know where to find the time to do the emotional labour/manage my streds to get the documents together. Anyway I can't get the documents together if I don't know what documents I need. I googled financial disclosure and found this... But that doesn't seem right.

I feel like we are doing things in the ring order. I don't want to live with my ex while we are negotiating finances but how can we do it another way?

Get in touch with your solicitor then OP. Honestly if stress is your main concern then you are best going directly to your solicitor who is qualified and best placed to help you. Any advice you receive here will only add to your stress because although most people have the best of intentions, it can always be wrong, and it’s you & your stress levels that will pay the price.

Give your solicitor a call.

Thank you. I feel like a pest. A guess a paying pest is not so bad! 😂

Honestly don’t feel like a pest, it’s what they are there for (and you pay for the priviledge😂)! You’re best off getting allll of the advice in advance so that you don’t end up with any worries or regrets down the line! X

Look up Form E on the Gov website. That will tell you what disclosure you need to give, and also what your ex needs to provide. Focus on sections 1 and 2 for now.

When I've searched for form E I just get the above document...which looks useless to me. 🤷‍♀️

Google Advice Now, OP. There's a detailed guide there for filling out Form E. My solicitor sent me a Form E to complete, which i photocopied, used one as a 'rough' then properly completed the other. That then goes back to your solicitor, they draft ie type it up and make any amendments they think are needed, then sent to you to approve.

Any questions, do ask your solicitor - if they're like mine you may find easy stuff will be dealt with by an assistant on a much cheaper hourly rate 😄

It might be worth scheduling a 30 minute chat with all your questions.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/63c132468fa8f516ac0d5a6d/FormEE0123save.pdf

From page 5 onwards, you'll see it requires you to give details of the assets you own, either yourself or jointly with your husband. There are also notes on how to complete the form.

In the same way that you can get an accountant to do your tax return, can I get someone to do the form for me. Every time.i look at the form I get anxiety. It's going to take so much energy just to emotionally regulate to do it.

Tbh there is no point trying to get someone else to fill in the form e as no one else will be able to get the information.
Start with the easy questions and fill in as much as you can and then make a list of things you don't know or you need to find out and then slowly tick them off. No one will expect you to do this in eg a week I would say it probably took me a month or so to complete it around work and childcare, just set time aside each day/week to try and progress it.

@DivorcedDiva Yeah I think if I do 2 or 3 × 30 mins per week that would be manageable.

My pension CETVs have already come back to me.
I wish I had a better understanding of the time scales. I know that in July I can apply for the 'conditional order' but I don't know what that is. In my mind ive been thinking of that as the deadline for ex and I to not only have done the full disclosure but also negotiated and agreed on the split.

You can ask your solicitor to outline the process and in what order things need to be done. Some things can be time critical and you need to have all the documentation ready at certain points, so ask for a timelines guide as part of the process, to make sure you don't miss any deadlines.

You can ask them to clarify their response times too. Mine would only respond to emails after 4 pm if they were not urgent. You learn to be concise in your communications as it is easy to run up the time without realising.

Get them to check your Form E. Once you get disclosure from the other side, go through it and highlight any anomalies and flag them up for advice. If they ask you for info, provide it ASAP.

Get your own filing sorted out, if your ex is an arse, there will be a lot of paperwork.

Let your solicitor guide you through the whole process if stress is an issue and cost is not. They will provide you with the disclosure form, explain how to fill it in and edit it for you.

The solicitor is the best bet if you think that the ex is not going to be fair. You can do as much as you can yourself but use the solicitor when you are not clear. Filling Form E is daunting but as so me solicitors say - you know yourself better then them, you know your's and his assets. Watch this video w
is very helpful.
Good luck