Child sleeping arrangements- advice needed/aibu

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I am posting on behalf of my older brother who has recently left a very narcissistic abusive marriage, She ultimately cheated on him and discarded him.

They have two beautiful kids, the eldest one, daughter,6, has very complex autism non verbal and other SEN. The youngest is 4, boy.

Up to and until the marriage ended, they were all co sleeping together and my brother had no say in anything. He wanted them to go in their own bedrooms but she wouldn't have it. But with their daughters needs, co sleeping made it easier.

Fast forward to now, the ex has potentially moved her affair partner in or he is staying there regularly and we believe he is sharing the bed with the kids and her. Still Co sleeping.

Any advice please as I'm sure you will agree ianbu worrying about this. Is it a social services thing to report? Shall we report to ss?? It will open another huge can of worms and stress for him but its just not right. Can a solicitor do anything. He has recently got a good one.

This man, her affair partner dosent know the kids, and with the SEN child it makes it even worse. It's really upsetting my brother after everything he's been through having to deal with this. Please no negative replies, we know it is wrong it is what we can do about it. This woman has no morals at all and has been a true narcissist playing the victim and being so coercive and abusive we have had months of hell with her (which isn't the main point in this post, but ) it's been awful.

Thank you in advance. Any advice much appreciated

I mean I’d call them to maybe get some advice. I’d really not be happy with it.

i co sleep with my daughter sort of. She sleeps in the same room as she’s also SEN and people have pushed for her to get in her own room.

I wouldn’t allow a stranger to come into the room or the bed though and I think this is ultimately the issue.

I would t be comfortable doing it or it happening to my children no way.

This is crazy.

Having a "stranger" sleep in the same bed as child with SEN is totally nuts.

You can report it to social services but they will give a fuck all as they will believe the mother blindly.

At the same time, reporting to social services will result in repercussion for your brother from his ex.

And I am telling this out of personal experience.

Thank you

I agree totally to everything you have said. It's just horrible 🥺 just feel for those children they must be so confused and she just dosent give a shit shes no empathy at all. Putting herself before them. Not thinking of the kids emotionaly and mentally. Its vile. Typical narcissistic behaviour 🥺 I hope you are OK now xx