My exH have been separated for two years now. We have two DC together who are 10 and 12.
He has always struggled with depression and its had a massive effect on our marriage. By the end he had become controlling, volatile and withdrawn. He took all his pain and frustration out on me and was becoming aggressive. I tried to support him for years, but nothing I did helped and in the end I couldn't take it anymore.
He has been very difficult during the divorce process, very angry, then upset, then swearing and shouting at me and then crying and reminding me of the good times. Its been awful.
But, I realise that a lot of his anger is because of hurt. He knows he has lost me, the DC see him once or twice a week (his choice) and he tells me that he is very lonely and has nobody to talk to as he lives alone now.
In the end, i ended the marriage and I'm finding guilt very difficult to deal with. Sometimes, I can be sitting having tea with the DC and I get massive waves of guilt at the thought of him being alone. I can't enjoy everyday things like walking the dog or days out with the kids because I know that he would like to be there.
He has treated me appalingly, and I know I need to move on but the guilt and feelings of sadness are awful. I feel as though I'll be worrying about him forever.
Has anyone experienced this?