I recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a women at work. Since finding that out he has been sleeping with prostitutes for the last couple of years. He says this is because I’m not a model wife! I had no idea, we have the normal ups and downs like any marriage, but looking back we go away on holidays, anniversary weekends together, days out together, I mean if I was that bad and he was that unhappy why did we continue to make happy memories. Over the years I have had to tolerate him canodaling with another women at the races (me walking in on him in a pub), another occasion getting so drunk and talking to a waitress about the size of her boobs infront of me (as you can imagine I wasnt happy), talking down to me in front of builders, receiving inappropriate texts from other women, allowing a work colleague to tell to the F**k off and him saying that i was over reacting and it was a joke. All of this and more has really bothered and upset me and his response is “are you still going on about that!” He wonders why my energy has changed towards him, I find this all very disrespectful. He said he’s desperate to sell the house, the mortgage we have left is a 1/4 of the house value and the reason for the prostitutes and affair is partly because of this. I must admit the house is too big, but I’m not sure I can trust him anymore, I believe anyone that truly loves and respect you wouldn't do this, however I am also thinking of my son too. Kids do really change the standard walking away. I’m at a loss of what to do, we are marriage counselling, but he said the other night in front of my sister, why can’t he go out for a beer with just his mates, which I found very embarrassing and inappropriate, this has never been an issue in our marriage and 12years together, I’m not the type of person to stop my husband going out with friends he goes out more than me and I think it’s healthy to have nights out without each other, but it feels like he is trying to make me an issue. This did really change me putting effort and forgiveness in, I don’t want to be spoken to like that in my marriage/relationship.
Do I stay and try and work things out for my family, or do I leave? Does selling the house before the divorce makes things more complicated/negative for me we have been here 11years.