selling the house

[scaredclare]

Hi, this is my first time here. i've been married 24 years 2 kids one 16 in college.
my husband wants us to be 'adult' about all this and just split the equity 50/50.
The issue is he earns a lot more money than me and i wouldn't be able to get a mortgage and barely afford to rent a 1 bedroom flat in todays market. ive told him today that i will not sell as we both own 100%. i want to stay in the house some how.

is it always a 50/50 split. i cant afford to buy him out it that is the case but was wondering about his pension as someone said he didn't claim her exes so she could keep the house and only pay a small percentage of the equity. Has anyone else done this and how does if work with my own pension which is much smaller?
Any help would be appreciated . Thanks.

You need to get the value of both your pensions, savings and any assets. They all go into the pot and you agree a split.

Your husband may agree for you to have a larger split if the cash/equity in the house and keep his pension.

Firstly, if your ex is saying he wants you to be “adult” about the financial split, you can be sure that this will be to his advantage. There is a presumption that divorce negotiations start at 50:50 and then individual circumstances are taken into account. Since his future earnings are likely to be substantially greater than yours, you could use this to argue that you should receive more than 50%.

Both parties will be asked to state their assets in terms of pensions, property, savings and investments. You’ll then have an idea of what can be traded off.

It’s vital you get a good family law solicitor to advise you.

being adult means that you get everything valued
House
Pensions
Cars
Valuables ( I am not getting a divorce but my DH has £10k of bikes as an example)

and then agree a split

Thanks, he thinks i dont know what he is trying to do. today he basically said that it my fault that i dont earn that much because my job is 'part time' I work full time as a TA in a school which was perfect when the kids were younger for school holidays which he always thought was great financially. he thinks i should get a second job of a new job completely.

Divorce makes people poorer, OP.

You need a place to live but it only needs to house you, not to be as big as you'd like, and you could rent it not own it.

You don't have a right to his future earnings. PP are right that you need to include pension pots in the split.

Ok. So you are now separated (even if in the same house) and you have an 16 year old. Have you looked into a claim for universal credit?

just starting out with all this so not sure about everything. We are both still in the house. To be honest all i want is to stay in the house with the kids. Ive looked at renting or buying and my wages just wouldn't cover it. ive looked and was shocked at the prices. our current mortgage is £600 which i could just about do with lots of belt tightening.

I'm really sorry but I think you might need to let go of your dream of staying in the house - even if you're able to get more than a 50/50 split he's going to need some equity to start again, which means either buying him out with a bigger mortgage or selling and both of you getting smaller places. Unless there are huge pension assets you can relinquish or you can find a way of supplementing your income. Divorce sucks.

What does your solicitor advise? 50:50 is the starting point, but that is everything, equity, savings, investments, pensions etc. You both need to rehouse and potential for future earnings is a consideration. You might, for instance, be able to trade half of his pension for his share of equity in the house. What are the CETVs for your pensions? Do you earn enough to be able to take on the mortgage? Don't sacrifice your future to stay in a house that may be too big / costly for you to run.

See a solicitor. The fact that you worked in a school to fit with the children should be taken into account and his greater earning potential in terms of raising a mortgage . Alongside those things, savings, pensions etc will go into the pot with the equity to be split 50/50. You may be able to keep more equity if his pension is larger, etc.
A solicitor may well advise that you should have more than 50% if he is able to house himself with less.

You may not be able to stay in the house - you might- but will depend on other assets available and whether you can offset some of those plus get slightly higher share of equity.

you’d also need to. Enable to pay any mortgage outstanding and bills alone - on a ta Salary that will likely be tough

Again it depends on your assets available for splitting but needs too. If you only have 1 16 yo at home you need a 2 bed house - if you are in say a 4 bed, then you are “over housed’

you need a solicitor but also need to be willing to compromise and negotiate and don’t try to hold on to the house at all costs. Legal fees can be high so balance off cust if a fight too… no point sanding 50k to ‘win 20 etc

with all respect a TA salary is low - now might be a good time to
start looking for a better paid job To better your income too post divorce

You probably can't stay in the house, at least not in the longer term. It might not be 50/50 but will likely be near that. (50/50 of the whole "marital pot").

I think a solicitor appointment will be well with it.

Sorry you are in this position.

Your 16 year old will only count as needing housing until 18 so you would need to get things moving for them to be considered. How old is other child? Unless the mortgage company will let you take over the mortgage and release your ex then staying is unlikely as he wouldn’t be able to buy elsewhere. Deferring a sale until a child is 18 is sometimes possible but less common than it used to be as a clean break is preferred. It also doesn’t always help longer term as you might find your % won’t be enough to buy what you want down line and ex will benefit from any reduction you make to the mortgage so often it’s better to start over so any equity is 100% yours from now on. Mortgage companies can take UC into account but often don’t once child is over 14 as the expectation is benefits will go down when children are 18. If your youngest child is 16 you could probably drag the process out until 18 as the courts have long delays. If he earns a lot more you may get spousal maintenance for a short period to allow you to retrain or increase income. You need legal advice about this. Similarly a mortgage co probably wouldn’t take CM into account for 16 year old. If you have family who can guarantee a mortgage that’s sometimes an option.

You should go to a mediatior. They will advise you on how a court might divide assets, and will include any pensions (state pension and other pension) property, investments and savings.

This is how the 50-50 will work.