Family to use 3rd party

[Bygone99]

Hello group backstory our nephew and partner have separated they have 1 child now 8 years old, at first it was kind of amicable, until he met someone else, we have not taken sides, two sides to every story,
Anyway his ex, and now solicitor have stated he must go through a third party, this has come about due to proven false allegations, which official mediator is aware of, which nothing can be done about, he was a bit nieve in not having a solicitor, she has for the past year prevented nephews mum and dad (grandparents) and great grand parents from having anything to do with the child
We have lived away for a few years but visted when in locality,
Today we went to deliver Easter eggs from our side of the family ended up delivering to nephews ex mum and dad's, we have since received a text stating that non of our nephews family are to ever go to her house and to go through the third party, which we will adhere to, she would not tell us who the third party is, found out it is her mum and dad for now,
nephew also told us that she said if they seperated she stated that non of his family would have anything to do with there daughter.
As a child I went through similar experience, and when I found out my mum had prevented me from seeing family members, especially my father I resented her for the rest of her life.
We not no how to proceed going forward, apart from keep trying ,writing letters etc, nephews ex holds all the cards
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I'm not sure I entirely follow op - wouldn't you drop the Easter eggs with your nephew to distribute? And wouldn't any contact with the kids be through him?

Sorry if I've missed something here!

You overstepped. If you want to have contact or hand over gifts it would be via their father.

He needs to get a child arrangement order. Mediation and then court with a solicitor will secure that for him.

Is your nephew seeing his child? If so, you need to go through him. The ‘3rd party’ only applies to the child’s father - the mother’s parents have no obligation to facilitate contact with anyone else unless the court specifically says so.

Also, is the 3rd party contact a court order? I’ve only seen that when the mother is alleging physical or sexual abuse in the marriage / relationship and conditions have been put in place by either the family or criminal courts.

If you are ‘both sides’ing an allegation your nephew was abusing his partner where the courts are taking that allegation of abuse seriously enough to block contact between the parents (by making a 3rd party requirement), I’m not surprised the mother wants you to stay away from her and her family.

You need to see your great nephew on his father’s time.

The nephew brought private action through a mediator to see child, at the moment he has to use third party, as said allegations have been proven false, no courts involved, it was the mother that said we had to go through the third party

The allegation was that he was stalking her, had police involved , the car he has, has telematics which records his location and tracks movements which disproved the allegation as he was not in that area,

Your actions added fuel to an already inflamed situation. It was an act of provocation, and it was a very stupid thing to do. You should not be contacting this family, they don’t want you calling at their home. If you couldn’t anticipate that you have now been told. Assume all permutations of you or anyone else close to or related to your nephew trying to intrude into their homes or social activities isn’t wanted. You have zero rights to see this child when he is with his mother or her family. You have zero rights to make contact with them because they don’t want to see or speak to you. They don’t need a reason for this. It’s their decision.

Support your nephew in his actions to gain access. Then visit and give gifts via him. This is normally how family see children after parents split. Nobody would intrude on an ex’s family especially when there is acrimony and allegations.

You have absolutely made things worse. What a very, very silly thing to do. You knew that there were issues with contact etc (founded or unfounded), and yet you decided to ignore this.

So no evidence at all that he wasn’t stalking her, just evidence that he wasn’t stalking her in that car?

You knew there were significant issues with criminal allegations being made by both parties (since lying about stalking is a crime) and you thought the best thing to do was show up on her parent’s doorstep rather than pass your presents via your nephew?

The ex is probably very relieved you’ve done this - rock solid evidence that his entire family is participating in what you have tried to say is non existent harassment / stalking will go great for her (and very badly for your nephew) when the case reaches court. If she genuinely is lying, you’ve handed her evidence to back up her claims and damaged your nephew’s case. If she’s not (and ‘his car wasn’t there’ is not the conclusive proof you seem to think it is), this will be one more ground for supervised contact / contact via a third party.

how can it be harrament on our behalf, when by text messages the child mother asked us to deliver any presents to her house and not anywhere else, we were notified about the 3rd party situation which is her grandmother, after the recent event. Which we will adhere to

I can’t actually work out what the arrangement is since you seem to have altered it in the most recent post. So far you’ve said the 3rd party is both her mum and dad and her grandmother, which is it? Also, you’ve not said when these calls / messages were sent. Having said that, it’s pretty clear you weren’t wanted and weren’t invited.

I note mediators can’t require third party contact - they can suggest it but either your nephew agreed or there is a court order / bail conditions requiring it. Which is it? Either way, if the 3rd party is actually her grandmother not her parents, firstly that only applies to your nephew not you and secondly your nephew would know that so you either didn’t ask him or he encouraged you to do this.

Either way, showing up uninvited on the doorstep when you know there are ongoing criminal allegations could well amount to harassment and I don’t believe your faux naive ‘I had noooo idea that doing this obviously upsetting thing might upset the person I did it to’.

Just stay away from the mother and her family. If your nephew’s account of things are true it does his case no good for you to be going round there. Only trouble will ensue.

Because sooner or later his ex’s allegations will come true if you and he keep walking into or creating high tension situations.