Financials following separation

[Roo84]

Husband and I have recently separated . Married 10 years, 2 primary school DC. He has moved out of mortgaged family home and is currently living with parents. Split is fairly amicable although it was essentially his final decision to leave and chose to not work on our marriage after a difficult period.
We both earn ok money, although his salary take home is around £400/£500 a month more than mine. He also earns and extra £400 approx a month self employed via a second job.
I currently work part time hours, but will now have to go full time to earn enough to get a solo mortgage and afford to live.
I am aware that this month he would be getting a bonus, and a pay rise although not sure how much this is. We used to get paid out salary into a joint account, but this has now stopped by him.
So far he has (begrudgingly) agreed to still pay half the regular household bills and financial commitments until our property is sold etc.
I haven't yet asked for child maintenance on top of this... would it be cheeky to do this giving he is paying for the house he's not living in?
He's having children 1-2 nights a week so far, EOW which is unlikely to change due to his working hours. CMS calculations online show he would potentially need to pay a £409-£500 a month.
I am just aware that he will financially be much better of, and potentially saving a decent amount whilst living with his parents. Whereas I am not likely to have much disposable income left.
He is so far being amicable, I just don't want to rock the boat by pushing things?

I think if you apply for child maintenance, he will stop paying half the bills (and would probably be right to).

He might refuse to pay half the mortgage which could leave you in a real pickle.

I suspect that will leave you worse off, so I wouldn't if I were you.

You say he's saving money, but actually he's still keeping up his financial commitments, despite having had to move home. You get the enjoyment of the full family home at half price.

If things are amicable, I wouldn't ruin that with grabbiness to be honest.

If he’s paying at least the CMS amount (more at the moment) I wouldn’t ask for more. It’s irrelevant that he chooses to live with his parents

Generally speaking, the person remaining in the family home is expected to cover the whole of the mortgage and bills as they have exclusive use of the house and the other person has their own living costs. Your ex can’t live at his parents for long.
I would get the house on the market now (unless you can buy him out), take over the household bills and ask for child maintenance, or get the house on the market and continue as you are for now and don’t ask for child maintenance. To do both is unfair.
He won’t be better off once the house is sold as you will have more than half of the difference in salaries in CMS, will have similar housing needs (as he will be having the children stay over) and you will also be working full time.
i’d take the fact that you currently have the benefit of the family home to weigh against him having some surplus income currently.

It’s a bit cheeky yes. So governance but more but you are only part time? So when you return full time you’ll earn more?

yiu can ask for cms but likely he’ll reduce it stop paying half of costs for a house he’s not living in. Or move back in

you’re also getting some benefit of an asset he doesn’t have access to currently

btw, it’s not nice living apart from
Your children and back at parents ,,,,,,,

yiu need to work out a longer term more sustainable option ultimately

Have you claimed UC and child benefit?

I think he would be perfectly right to only pay CMS or half the bills. Have you discussed this with him. You are potentially doing something that could start to erode amicable and that is never a good idea.

chances are UC plus CMS could give you more or less the same amount. He could start living independently. At the moment his parents are subsidising your lifestyle. He is living at their grace and living with others is not something anyone would chose.

Thank you all. I have been along the lines of not asking for more, neither of us are out to make things difficult or do each other over financially. A couple of friends had suggested asking for more, but I was hesitant hence wanting to see the consensus around this.
Hoping things can stay amicable as possible for the sake of the kids and my sanity!

Yea, if you want things to stay amicable, I’d stick to that because if it ended up going down a contested route, chances are that you’d end up with less than you’ve got at the moment (with him sharing the bills), minus legal fees.
Having been in his position, the longer he has to stay at his parents while paying half the bills, the less amicable it will become and that will result in both losing out. Move towards independence for both of you as quickly as possible. Best wishes.

how are things now?