How much to ask for?

[BlobfishLover]

Hi guys I’m the middle of a separation and just looking for some advice. We have three children together, two children are 50/50 custody and one child (older teen) has decided to go no contact (valid reason). Me and the children are in the marital home and he is living with his parents. He has offered 30k to buy me out which I think is a good deal but I’m wondering what/do I ask for extra for furniture/white goods etc as I would be starting from scratch. Just for reference I have no financial support and in the middle of applying for UC. I can’t really afford to use a solicitors either

How long have you been together?

How much is the house worth? Have you asked an estate agent (not taken your exes word). What is your mortgage balance? Are there any other houses you own or he owns?

What pension balance does he have? What jobs has he had? What pension do you have?

What savings do you both have?

30k may be too much or too little. You need to know all of your assets and debts as a starting point. Also would he have hidden assets?

Also Depending on assets/pensions women usually cannot afford NOT to use a solicitor.

Second hand furniture and white goods are usually valued at around 10% of their new value.

We’ve been together 18 years, house has been valued at 190k by an estate agent I was present at the time of evaluation and imo it’s worth closer to 180k and I’m pretty sure the roof needs replacing. We have 130k left on the mortgage, no other houses. I’m unsure of pensions tbh he will have more than me as I was a SAHM for 8 years. He’s mainly worked in construction but has always had a job. We didn’t have much savings roughly £800 each we’ve already split them. I’m happy with the 30k buy out but I’m unsure of how much it’s going to cost to furnish a new house. I would be going into rental probably as I would need more than 30k deposit to buy. Average 3 bed semi’s in my area normally go for £220kish

Unfortunately I don’t have the funds at the moment, hopefully that will change as I have applied for UC

18 years is a long marriage. You are entitled to a chunk of his pension precisely because you were SAHM, how much would you need for a deposit? I would try to find an overall figure that gives you enough for the deposit, in the long term you will do yourself a lot of favours. Maybe take half the furniture as replacing will cost a lot.

Before making agreements or splitting up the assets, all the assets need to be on the table and properly valued. Property - a surveyor or average of 3 estate agents. Pensions - get CETVs (cash equivalent transfer value - providers give one free per year usually). Also consider getting a pensions on divorce expert report / actuary report. They can do calculations for pension sharing to equalise income, or a percentage of choice and they can factor in different retirement ages. Costs between £2-3K and can be so worthwhile. Both parties need somewhere to live and an income. Pension values (CETV/income) can be worth more than the property in some cases. Make sure all assets are disclosed. Form E tells you which ones should be part of the list. Starting point for sharing assets is 50/50 and Section 25 factors are taken into consideration so courts can deviate from the equality 50/50 principle.

If you take 30k once you receive it won't you be over the savings allowed to claim UC?

Also get legal advice / research before accepting the valuation on the house and £30K for a 'buy out' for it, and also before leaving the former matrimonial home. There are financial, tax and other implications for you. Check out what 50/50 means in practice and in relation to child maintenance for the 2 younger children and what 100/0 means re the teen child.

As @Luckycloverz indicates, each financial decision you make now will have a knock-on effect.

Look at the whole picture / financial landscape rather than in bits as you may end up worse off and getting less than half.