Divorce

[OpenMember]

Starting points with mediation

Sorry new to this webpage. Starting mediation after 23 years of marriage. I'm terrified. Any suggestions on how to start!
2 children and large mortgage still to pay. He earns double my wage and has pension and shares. I've a small business but always been mum.

Fill out your form Es and don’t agree anything in mediation until you have checked with a solicitor what you are entitled to. As it’s a long marriage, all assets will go in the pot - equity in house, income, shares, earning potential, pensions, business income/valuation, savings….starting point is 50% of everything but may be able to have more of one thing eg equity for less than another thing eg his pension, or more of overall assets if you are significantly worse off financially/are having more than 50% care of the children, etc. Solicitor will know with all the relevant details. Think about whether one could buy the other out or whether house will need to be sold, what housing you will both need to house yourselves and the children. All things to discuss in a first consultation. Mine outlined some ideas of what was possible with a best and worst case scenario - what settlement was too low to agree. What would be a good outcome. The mediator can’t give legal advice so you could be nodding and agreeing to something that wouldn’t be considered fair. They are there to facilitate a civil discussion and obtain all the information needed. Best wishes. Don’t be scared, it’s not that bad and you don’t have to continue if it’s going nowhere and you can’t come to a reasonable agreement.