Student status is preventing me from obtaining a refuge place. Pls help.

[Amgelima]

Hello everyone. I’m trying to divorce my DV husband who has also hurt our children. I have reported everything to police and CS.

I decided it would be best to go to a refuge with my children. I was offered a place but when they learned I am a doctoral student with full time student status they told me I can’t qualify for benefits and therefore cannot get a refuge place unless I can prove I have funds to cover it - and I cannot unless they will let me use credit cards. I have no access to money as all is controlled by my H and my student loan went purely to tuition). I have three children under the age of 9. I am almost finished with my degree - just 6 months of so to go. Should I drop out so I can qualify for benefits? I really hate to do that as it feels like DV is winning if I stop my degree due to DV. Any suggestions?

I am asking my IDVA for help as well but she doesn’t have the answers to this one. She said I could make an emergency homeless application to the council. I worry I won’t feel safe if I do that. The refuge sounds safer for my children and me. I don’t want H getting them until we have gone thru the courts and I know leaving is the most dangerous time with a DV relationship so I expect it to get worse and really want safety.

Your tuition fees should be covered by the tuition fee loan, do you also get the maintenance loan? I believe on benefits your expected to get the full loans available.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/universal-credit-and-students

If you are a lone parent you can get universal credit as a full time student under certain circumstances

Full time students in temp accommodation can claim Housing Benefit.

Well I had no idea payment was required for a refuge! That's terrible. I also always assumed they were a short term solution. I wouldn't give up on your degree. Talk to the council and see what they can do. I feel like a council property might be the best option.

Thank you for this. My tuition fee loan is the only one I have taken out. I did not know maintenance loans were available to doctoral students as I didn’t need one due to living with my partner - I will look into this.

Are you able to contact your mp also?

It's ludicrous you should need to but worth a shot. Good luck.

@Throwawayme of course refuges have an accommodation charge. How else do they get funded? And it’s a few hundred a week.

@Amgelima It would require a referral from homelessness services following you approaching them to be accommodated in a refuge here. They will be discreet. Please do make an application.

Amazing to know this. I will look into this. I was thinking I might call Citizens Advice to see if they can explain or confirm so I can take that into to the refuge along with this link.

Thank you. Are homelessness services with the council?

That’s a great idea. I mean, I would want them to keep things confidential, but if they could help that would be great.

Hardship fund at university?

Another avenue to look into is the student housing department at your university. They won’t have much geared towards families, but they may have something, and if there’s nothing they’ll at least be able to provide proof you’ve asked them. There may also be hardship grants for students in unexpected financial difficulties.

Do contact the university for support- they may have access to financial advice

Is the temp accommodation you are referring to here the one provided to DV victims by the council? My only fear with temp accommodation is that it doesn’t seem as safe. But maybe some options will be safe. I have no idea how my stbx will react. He might be ok, but as he has had episodes of violence during the marriage under “average” circumstances due to his career stress or annoyance about a messy house, i worry about his reaction and don’t want to risk a bad one. Plus divorce will prob make him mad for many reasons beyond losing me. He will lose money and may lose a great deal of access to the children. I really do worry about how he will react and don’t want to be a sitting duck in a normal house with normal locks.

Yes local authorities I required to provide housing advice and homelessness assistance.

Kindly, you seem ignorant of what is required of them, so I suggest you do some research before you approach as councils are notorious for gatekeeping services. I’ll get some links.

Also there are also mechanisms to exclude your partner from the Home if you would feel able to stay, however, as you are aware risks around domestic abuse and homicide increase at a time when the perpetrator feels they are losing control. Please make yourself aware of the homicide timeline by Dr Jane Monkton so you can safety plan and notice when the stages change.

Good luck.

If you haven't already, please get in touch with your university student wellbeing services. They will support you through their safeguarding processes and may be able to help with housing/refuse negotiations.

https://www.ted.com/talks/dr_jane_monckton_smith_the_homicide_timeline?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Are you able to take a pause in your studies? If you do that you will be able to claim benefits. Lots of PhD students do it. There might be someone helpful in your university’s student welfare department who you can speak to.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m000psj8?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/help_if_youre_homeless_domestic_abuse

Please speak to your university, they have a duty of care and will take your case seriously.

Go straight to student services/wellbeing, and a lot of universities now have law clinics who may be able to help you with paperwork etc.

https://www.bcpcouncil.gov.uk/benefits-support-and-advice/housing-benefit/claiming-housing-benefit-if-youre-a-student#:~:text=Most%2C%20but%20not%20all%2C%20full,have%20reached%20State%20Pension%20Age.

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/help-with-housing

https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/my-rights/

Some more information that might be useful.

Thank you. I have reached out and the safeguarding officer is going to meet me on Monday to talk about housing options. They also said I can apply to max hardship grant which is great but it is £2.5k - I think refuge is £375/month and they expect someone to stay six months, so it would certainly help but not cover all of it. A friend offered to support me by £1k when she learned about my situation - she said just use it towards anything to help. If a maintenance loan is available that may make the difference I need. Or I may yet find I qualify for benefits. I want to put safety first but intermitting my degree at this stage would be crushing bc I am almost finished and I want to use it to be independent and provide when I graduate.

Thank you for this. My tuition fee loan is the only one I have taken out. I did not know maintenance loans were available to doctoral students as I didn’t need one due to living with my partner - I will look into this.

The loan isn't earmarked as either fee or maintenance. It's all rolled in.

Going part time might be your best bet. It's there flexibility to do various levels of part time on most doctoral programs? 0.8 of FT for example?